User:Rachelw12345/sandbox

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Practice Editing Here (Nov 23rd in-class Wiki session work)

 * This is a place to practice clicking the "edit" button and practice adding references (via the citation button).
 * Concussion

Assignment # 3
1. Proposed Changes

In the Concussion article under the Mechanism section, force subsection I propose to replace the last sentence of the first paragraph with two new sentences.

Existing sentence: "Concussion may be caused by impact forces, in which the head strikes or is struck by something, or impulsive forces, in which the head moves without itself being subject to blunt trauma (for example, when the chest hits something and the head snaps forward). ”

Proposed replacement: Concussions, and other head-related injuries, occur when external forces acting on the head are transferred to the brain. Such forces can occur when the head is struck by an object or surface (a ‘direct impact’), or when the torso rapidly changes position (i.e. from a body check) and force is transmitted to the head (an ‘indirect impact’).

2. Rationale for proposed change

I propose a change to the existing sentence because it uses complicated language that may be difficult for readers to understand and it is supported by weak evidence. On the concussion page the reference used links to a narrative review article. The sentences I have added cover similar concepts as the initial sentence but have been restructured to be easier to read and are supported by stronger evidence (a systematic review).

3. Area of Controversy (if applicable)

I do not anticipate any controversy for my proposed change because the content of my change aligns with the content previously included on the page. Instead my edit has rephrased the content so that it is easier to understand and is support by stronger evidence.

4. Critique of Source

The source selected had a well-defined search strategy to identify articles included in the systematic review. One potential limitation of this systematic review was that it did not have a well-defined PICO question but instead a goal of reviewing and summarizing literature relating to the history, pathophysiology, recognition, assessment and management of concussions. A systematic review or meta-analysis with a question focused only on literature quantifying the forces and situations causing concussions may have provided additional information on the exact mechanisms of force transmission leading to a concussive event. Nonetheless, several studies were cited in support of the statements I used in the article to inform my changes. Lastly, the article I selected was published in 2014 and thus any research since this time would not have been included. Unfortunately, I had difficulty finding a more recent secondary source that summarized primary research on the forces contributing to concussions.

5. Article Improvement

Please see my post on the talk page of the concussion article found at this link:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Concussion

What to post on the Wikipedia article talk page?

 * This will also be covered on Nov 23rd in class. Your group should use the below template to share an outline of your proposed improvements (including your new wording and citations). Article talk pages are not places to share your assignment answers. The Wikipedia community will be more interested in viewing your exact article improvement suggestions including where you plan to improve the article (which section), what wording you suggest, and the exact citation (Note: all citations must meet WP:MEDRS)
 * You will not be able to paste citations directly from your sandbox to talk pages (unless you are interested in editing/learning Wiki-code in the "source editing" mode). We suggest re-adding your citations on the talk page manually (using the cite button and populating the citation by pasting in the DOI, website, or PMID). You will have to repeat this process yet again when you edit the actual article live.
 * Talk Page Template: CARL Medical Editing Initiative/Fall 2020/Talk Page Template