User:Randy The Bear/Sandbox

In October, 1970, Martha and Clinton gave birth to three bear cubs near Issaquah, Washington. Randy, the runt of the litter, was soon taken in by a family of Ewoks and uncle Jar Jar. It was in this happy go lucky meth-amphetamine fueled home that Randy developed his passion for garbage.

"Everyone was doing drugs, and I never learned to catch Salmon. All I could do was ransack garbage cans throughout the neighborhood."

And ransack he did. Despite the bear-proof cans, the pepper spray and threats from residents, Randy made his home in the woods around Issaquah, Washington eating trash and crapping in peoples lawns.