User:Rashaaban/sandbox

Note from JenOttawa
Good work compiling your suggestions. I have moved it here temporarily. I will make some suggestions to get it ready to go "live" on the talk page. Please check back in a few minutes while I make the suggestions. Please correct these here, in the sandbox, and I will go through them before you post on the talk page. Feel free to email me, leave me a message in this sandbox, or on my talk page if you have any questions or need assistance. Thanks!JenOttawa (talk) 17:49, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

'''Go ahead and add it back to the talk page. You did a nice job preparing this for the talk page!'''JenOttawa (talk) 00:26, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Suggestions to improve the page
Hello ATBF talk page community.

As a part of a class assignment for Queen’s Medical school, we are suggesting a few edits to this page. Below you will find a list of our suggestions to help improve this article. We would appreciate the community feedback before we proceed and implement these changes.

1. Within the section named “Causes,” specifically, the subheading “Vectors,” we suggest rewording the first sentence and adding a second one.

First sentence suggestion: “Two species of hard ticks, Amblyoma variegatum and Amblyomma hebraeum are the most common vectors of R. africae.

Second sentence suggestion: "Typically, Amblyoma variegatum transmits the bacteria in South Africa while Amblyomma hebraeum carries R. africae throughout West, Central and East Africa and through the French West Indies.

2. In the “Causes,” subheading “Vectors” we suggest that within the last paragraph regarding the French West Indies, the sentence “However…..discovery of R. africae within amblyomma varigatum ticks on Gaudelupe island” be changed to “…discovery of R. africae carried by amblyomma varigatum ticks introduced through cattle shipped from Senegal to Gaudeluope more than a century ago.

3. References #1, #10 and #20 are the same source. We suggest removing references #10 and #20, and attributing the following sentences to reference #1. 4. The signs and symptoms are not all cited. We suggest adding a citation for each bullet point not currently cited, as can be seen below: 5. The sentence “incubation occurs within 4-10 days” is not supported by source #8. We suggest changing this sentence to say "Incubation occurs within 4-10 days.
 * Amblyomma ticks are most active from November to April.
 * Extra caution should be taken in November - April, when Amblyomma ticks are more active.
 * Inspection of the body, clothing, gear, and any pets after time outdoors can help to identify and remove ticks early.
 * Fever
 * Headache
 * Muscle aches
 * Inoculation eschar, which is dead, often black, tissue around a bite site
 * Swollen lymph nodes near the site of the bite

That concludes the edits we suggest for this article. We would appreciate any and all feedback on them.

Sincerely,

Queen’s Medical School Year 2021, Group 2 Posting by: 130.15.34.135 (talk) 17:43, 7 November 2017 (UTC)
 * COMMENT: Once this gets moved from Talk to the actual article, consider going to the Wikipedia articles for the two ticks and creating referenced content that these ticks are vectors for African Tick Bite Fever. Also, once you are in Talk, do not delete content once someone else has commented. Instead, if you want to reply/respond, add that as new content at the bottom. P.S. You should be aware that a year ago a group of medical students increased the size of this article by 400%, and that since then other editors have worked on it, so commendable you identified more good quality content to add. David notMD (talk) 01:54, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

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