User:Rav holmes/Janina Jeff/Huntermd33 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Raven's


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rav%20holmes/Janina_Jeff?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rav%20holmes/Janina_Jeff?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Evaluate the drafted changes
- 2nd paragraph, '' ...she saw it as a hindrance now views it as an oppurtunity"

-add "and" between hindrance and now

-3rd paragraph, maybe add always to make it "...she always asked big questions"

-maybe change get togethers to parties

-4th paragraph, source for quote I believe

-i dont think you need a comma between "medical expert" and "ashira blazer"

-add "the" to make it "the Third Coast..."

-5th paragraph, add "is" to make it "the host and producer is"

-6th paragraph, remove is in "is and are not supported by genetics"

-kinkofa initiative, what were the founder's frustrated with?

-overall, great! I would try to add citations at the end of each points you made, though. I know wikipedia can be sticklers about that.