User:Rcepolski/Bioaccumulation/Mbutler2001 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Rcepolski


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Rcepolski/Bioaccumulation&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template&veaction=edit&redirect=no
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Bioaccumulation

Evaluate the drafted changes
Rcepolski, this is a really great start to adding information about bioaccumulation. When considering where to place your information about bioaccumulation in turtles, it may be great after the aquatic examples of bioaccumulation. This will fit right in! One thing you did well was not having too much information that corresponds with a singular source. You have a good variety of sources for small pieces of information and it flows together well. It is also nice that you linked a variety of terms to their own respective Wikipedia pages like pollution, climate change, and selenium. This is also a great addition because it really digs into a specific example of bioaccumulation in our real world. The reader gets to learn about the topic and then dig into a specific example with depth. I love the transition you have from the most common metals to then what these metals are doing within the bloodstream of the turtles. This then flows nicely into the macroscopic impacts on the organism in terms of developmental effects. One place for improvement is to look more into the developmental effects that can occur. Is it only death of the embryo, or do any of the turtle species survive with other effects? Also, in your bibliography, you have three sources, but in your article and your references, you use four, so just squeeze that fourth one in there! One other small minor edit is to italicize "Podocnemis expansa" because it is the Latin name for the organism. This might be a good think to link if a Wikipedia article exists for this species. The following sentence may be able to be written more clearly: "Turtles are used as a method to analyze bioaccumulation because of their habitats by the shore make it easier for them to collect blood samples and other means of data from." You could also potentially add some media to go along with your additions, something showing bioaccumulation levels in the bloodstream or what arrested embryos look like. Overall, this is a really great draft of what you are looking to add. Keep working and it will be ready to go!