User:Rcnewman/Evens/JustAJar4 Peer Review

General info
Rcnewman
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing: right here
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists): right here:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists): right here:

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hey there! Here is my peer review for your article:

Lead
I noticed that you have not changed the lead section from the initial iteration. While it is a relatively solid introduction, it may not properly reflect the changes you will make to the rest of the article. Perhaps it would be useful to include more information about the group's relationship to Siberia and/or the Russian government here since it looks like something that will be highlighted throughout the page. Also, the lead mentions religious significance, but this is not expanded upon anywhere throughout the article. It may be helpful to add more to this topic, as well.

Content
What has been added to the "History" portion of the article enhances the current information presented. Highlighting where the Evens people migrated from in the past as well as how the government treated them in the past. Though there are no citation links in the section that you have edited thus far, the bibliography that you have provided included articles that are relatively up to date (sources circa 1900s - 2010s). Depending on the information available in the sources that you do have, adding more information about their history can help paint a fuller picture of the tribe you are discussing. Maybe you can consider:


 * Different cultures/styles developed within the group
 * Relationships with other tribes/Indigenous groups
 * More information on the formation of the three main tribes mentioned in the section
 * More details about some of the intricate details described, such as the introduction/importance of reindeer herding and sentiments from Soviets and Eveni people alike about the assimilation they needed to face, or if there had been any dissent to this effort (e.g. if "many nomadic Evens chose to settle down, joined the kolkhozes and engaged themselves in cattle-breeding and agriculture," what did others do?)

It is unclear if you are going to add other sections to the page, so fleshing out this section so far would most likely be helpful. Additionally, you can add more citations to what you have added to update your reference section (which you can do manually, if necessary).

Tone and Balance
The added material does represent information in an objective manner without trying to persuade the readers. Especially when discussing how the Soviet government treated the Eveni people, this neutral balance is crucial, and you achieved it well. However, none of what you added include any perspective on the parties involved. I believe this is possible to do without biasing readers one way or the other if the information is presented objectively and the perspectives of all parties are mentioned adequately (e.g. how did the Soviet government view the Eveni, and vice-versa?). It will also help readers understand how the Eveni view their place in their own society as well as Russian society as a whole.

Sources and References
The range of sources you have provided look very nice and reliable. Including scientific text to support the origin of the people as well as linguistic text that sheds light on the word for "reindeer" is really good for peppering that scientific analysis into the article. Though you have not included in-text citations for the edits you have made, I can tell which sources you have used for your additions, and they seem to be a relatively good summation of the text. For example, the first paragraph of the "History" section looks to be from the source "Investigating the prehistory of Tungusic peoples of Siberia and the amur-ussuri region with complete mtdna genome sequences and Y-chromosomal markers" and "Reconstructing genetic history of Siberian and northeastern European populations." Secondarily, the details about Soviet treatment from the final paragraph of the section looks to be taken from "When the North Was Red: Aboriginal education in Soviet Siberia." Adding those in-text citations will help to confirm this further, but it still seems to be relatively obvious. I do not have access to the books you referenced in your bibliography, but it seems like those will be helpful, as well.

In terms of other sources you can potentially use to add to your article, some of these may help:


 * Sokolovskiy, S. V. (2007). Indigeneity Construction in the Russian Census 2002. Sibirica : The Journal of Siberian Studies, 6(1), 59–94. https://doi.org/10.3167/sib.2007.060103 This source, though dated by some 20 years, includes the relationship between Russia and indigeneity/remoteness. Although it is not directly related to the Evens people, it might help fill in the gaps about how the Russian government views indigenous groups and why they may be treated in the manner that they are.
 * Balzer, M. M. (2015). Local legacies of the GULag in Siberia: Anthropological reflections. Focaal, 2015(73), 99–113. https://doi.org/10.3167/fcl.2015.730108 This source dives more into how Indigenous groups interact with the Gulag policy, and one section is especially dedicated to Eveni perspectives on the matter. It is good for analyzing both general treatment of Indigenous groups by Russia as well as a specific example from the Eveni.

I also have a couple more miscellaneous comments. At the very end of your edits, you added a lot of links to other Wikipedia articles that, while helpful, may be a bit distracting since there are not many throughout the section and many are not directly related to the topic of the Eveni people. For example, I am not sure that hyperlinks to "written language" and "literacy" are quite necessary, whereas words like "Soviet" and "Communism" do not have hyperlinks even though they appear to be a helpful addition since the Eveni culture was directly affected by the prominence of each feature. You also added one hyperlink to "cattle" and a separate one to "breeding" for the term "cattle-breeding" while this Wikipedia article on animal husbandry looks to be more directly related to the term. Another thing that is helpful to consider is attempting to properly source the two statements labeled "citation needed" since they seem to be crucial statements to the overall understanding of how the Eveni live.

Organization
I have already mentioned the potential for the "History" section to be split up into multiple sections since it looks like there are a lot of topics that can be covered here that may not fit into one collective section. For example, there can be one section dedicated to Eveni origins, one about their ways of life, another about their relationship with reindeer, another about governmental treatment, and so forth. Other than that, the information that is currently in the article is written very concisely and in a way that is not difficult to understand, though it is possible to flesh out what is written further, as I have mentioned in prior sections. It looks to be a solid start to making valuable edits, and with some more detailing, it can become a great resource to learn more about the ethnic group.