User:Rdano001/Cradle of Humankind/Jtruongucr Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Rdano001


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rdano001/Cradle_of_Humankind?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Cradle of Humankind

Evaluate the drafted changes
Rdano001's sandbox draft is well written, well organized, and maintains a neutral tone throughout the entire article. I find that this sandbox article is concise yet detailed enough for readers to understand the topic at hand. There is a lot of good information that the user incorporated throughout the entire article. The user displays multiple strengths in this draft and I think with more time and research, this article will come along very nicely!

In terms of the lead, I think it gives a great brief introduction of the topic. The only thing I would fix is the second paragraph starting with "Over time more fossils have been found at the site..." because it seems to be one big runoff sentence. I think either rewording it or breaking it up into different sentences would make your point more clear. Overall the lead was great!

The history of the discoveries section was well written and all the content was backed up by reliable secondary and primary sources of information. I like how much detail there was in this section and it was interesting to read into the history of how the cradle of humankind was discovered and what was discovered in this paleoanthropological site. I do think it would be nice if the user added more original content to this section and/or make some edits to the content already there because it seems somewhat similar to the original wikipedia page about the Cradle of Humankind. However, I did notice some changes in the sandbox that the user made from the original wikipedia page that I thought helped better encapsulate the ideas being talked about. Additionally, I think adding pictures would be a great addition to this section if you have the time to do that! Overall this section was well done!

The geological context section gives great content about the hominin remains and their preservation. I think this section could have used some sources that state why these remains are only found at certain conditions. Otherwise it is well written!

I noticed that the user added an additional study section, possibly talking about the geographic history of this location and how it affects dating methods. I think that would be a great addition to the paper and the geographic history would help aid in the understanding of Cradle of Humankind! I understand that there is more information that can definitely be applied to this section of the article, but I think it's a great start!