User:RebLAHIS/Feminist Performance Art/BrittanyAngelMa Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:RebLAHIS


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:RebLAHIS/Feminist Performance Art


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Feminist performance art

Evaluate the drafted changes
The opening of the section:

"Female's body, who performs or appears on stage, has becomes an evidence to speaks for herself/ itself."

Is a little bit unclear in regards to the subject or what this line is getting across... Perhaps a more basic, to-the-point definition of body-focused feminist performance art would benefit this section.

I think the section with examples of body-focused feminist performance art might be improved with a second or third example so that it feels more complete as there is currently only a single example of the practice.

Though it may not be intended, some of the writing in this section feels a bit like reflecting/examining the meaning of the work rather than explaining the basic denotative description of it alongside the stated intended purpose of the artist.

I think the performance art in Japan section could benefit from more than one example in the same way as the body-focused section. It would make the section feel more complete.

The final added section about male-gaze has a lot of great sources and it does a great job of being fairly neutral throughout. With some grammatical fixes, this section is working very well.

Excellent work! Thank you so much for sharing!