User:Rebeccah-mackinnon/sandbox

Edith Hirsch Luchins
Article: Edith Hirsch Luchins (biography, dead)

Class: Stub

Initial Comments

 * Why on earth is the 2nd thing about her the name of her husband?
 * The box on the RHS with a bunch of facts reads well but individual facts are not cited. For example, the place where she got her PhD and advisor definitely comes from the genealogy project page.
 * If she taught at Brooklyn college, that's not her Alma Mater. Fact check!
 * The Water Jar experiment is not mentioned in the career section, though it's apparently what she's known for.
 * The career section could be much better organized and give more detail about the work she did.
 * Why on earth is she listed as a psychologist?

Question Responses

 * Bias - too much of her accomplishments are phrased in a way that highlights her husband's career.
 * So much weird sourcing.
 * The phrasing sounds more like an oral report by a high schooler than an encyclopedia article.

Areas of Improvement

 * PHRASING. Her husband's page has literally 1 mention of her; why is he mentioned every other line?
 * Cite specific sources for each of the facts about her.
 * Elaborate more on what she accomplished in the field rather than her life events.

Carolyn S. Gordon
Article: Carolyn S. Gordon (biography, living)

Class: Short

Initial Comments

 * I want that little side bar with the quick facts and a picture. That'd be lovely.
 * Organization of this page is terrible. It's a wall of text.
 * The awards and honors section has stellar citations; the rest of the article does not.
 * In contrast to the other article, this one mentions nothing about her personal life.
 * The discussion of her work is a bit jumbled.

Question Responses

 * There's a bit of extra mathematical jargon concerning her research, which may not be necessary since it's in the linked article.
 * Missing - personal life information? Is this necessary? where else did she work?
 * Citations are weak.

Areas of Improvement

 * Create the box on the right
 * Organize the information.
 * Eliminate the extra wording related to the math

Other Sandboxes I'm Working On
User:Rebeccah-mackinnon/edith hirsch luchins User:Rebeccah-mackinnon/carolyn gordon