User:Redpanda2301/Deaf Life for Indigenous Populations in Canada/Gopiga.dass Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Redpanda2301


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Deaf life for Indigenous peoples in Canada
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Deaf life for Indigenous peoples in Canada

Evaluate the drafted changes
I like the lead, but I would make the first sentence specifically about deaf indigenous people, since that is the subject of the article (i think somewhere it says its good if you bold the subject in the first sentence). I would maybe include estimated of the percent of the population was deaf and maybe some key stats on the most prevalent sign languages in this region.

Language Emergence - I like how you added external links to other articles. You brought up many different sign langauages. I would describe them further in the order that you first introduced them. Also, it’s not a bad idea to start a new mini paragraph with each new sign language you discuss. Increases clarity and will make it easier to read. Citations look good, and I fact checked a few of the links. The tone of this section is factual.

Significant Organizations - Some citations missing in the first two sentences of this section.

Human/Civil Rights - The paragraphs are bigger in this section, and you are waiting till the very end of the paragraph to add citations. Every time you state info from a different source, you should add a citation. For big chunks of information from the same source, I would at least add a citation at the end of the first and last sentence. I fact checked some links in this section. The tone continues to be neutral.

Early Hearing Detection - Same things about citations applies for this section as well.

The next couple of sections I am assuming are not done yet and will be improved upon.

Overall, I thought your article was pretty good and informative, while maintaining a neutral tone. The biggest thing is adding more citations and breaking up monster paragraphs into smaller ones. I learned a lot!