User:Regibald

Jimmy Cost's Lesson's of Life
The young philosopher Jimmy Cost, has published in a recent paper a satirical approach to "Lessons of Life", that are considered both inflammatory and amusing. They are as follows. Note the simplistic language and abbreviations.

1) dont try

2) dont forget the lessons of life,

3) something i forgot

4) never trust walrus's (trust me on that ),

5) dont be bullied

6) always eat cheese

7) dont ever, ever forget the crackers

8) if something is hard to do, its not worth doing

9) don’t trust llamas

10) or Nazis

11) especially not Nazi llamas

12) peng should never be said

13) ignore every other rule you are told

14) thirteen rules are never lucky, except for Michaels

15) needing the toilet is a state of mind

16) never use pronouns when addressing Michael

17) 17 is a good number

18) michaelism is the source of much confusion

19) never ask “have you got the time”, time cannot be owned!

20) never pronounce the letter H as hache

21) its pronounced injuns, not Indians

22) if in doubt, don’t do it

23)the C of E makes no sense, never trust their evil ways

24) it was created by a fat king that just wanted to get bloody divorced! After it was made he still followed catholic teachings! He simply only made it to get a divorce! Anybody who follows it is factually a retard!

25)USA helps create world peace, as all countries combine.. against it!

26) don’t swim if u cant swim

27) if u don’t know ur own religion, then theres summut wrong with u

28) beware for the cabbage is both green AND leafy

29) if u steal summut, u must always replace the stolen item with a cardboard version.

30) iron maiden cant be fought

31) iron maiden is (apparently) epic

32) Americans are fools, never trust their evil ways

33) every1 must be fluent in pingu to be a proper person

34) we all descended from Turkeys

35) we also descended from giant fishmen

36) fishmen like cows and fish, but not orange sweets.

37) there r terrible people and non-terrible people, u must know the difference, and then u will be able to become a non-terrible person, although no1s perfect…..

38) what idiot said playing an instrument makes u cleverer? Im quite sure it is irrelevant, all u could possibly get from it, is the ability to read musical note thingies, what the hell!? Maybe people think it cuz clever people in the past have played instruments… but hang on… im quite sure they were clever before they even started playing these instruments, their cleverness enabled them to play well. So basically, playing an instrument doesn’t make u cleverer. In actual fact it shows ur stupidity because ur gullible!

39) if ur American then you will need to know this:

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.”

40) Don’t drink and drive you’ll spill the drink!

41) don’t talk to scum.

42) 42 is the meaning of life!

43) 43 isn’t the meaning of life!

44) duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together!

As it can be seen from above, the "Lessons" are simple and of a simple calibre. However, on numerous occasions, Jimmy Cost has been praised for the though processes behind them.