User:ReimyLi/Ionel Rotaru/Nicky316 Peer Review

General info
ReimyLi
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:ReimyLi/Ionel Rotaru
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
I thought your article was incredibly thorough and really interesting, here is my peer review!

Lead
Your introductory sentence is very perfunctory, and it hits the essential aspects of Ionel Rotaru's life. However it's definitely incredibly short and simple, which doesn't really match up to the depth in the rest of your article. There's a huge amount of information about his life and impact, which you could definitely outline in your lead-in sentence. There's much more information about the things he created and the ideas he spearheaded that you could include.

Content
Your content is incredibly relevant to the topic, and I love how in depth and thorough you are with the things he created. There seems to be a lot of political aspects interwoven in his life, and you did a good job including information while keeping it understandable. I do think near the end of your Communaute Mondiale Gitane section you lose the focus on Rotaru a little bit, as I'm not sure where he fits into its dissolution and the resulting aftermath. I know you haven't finished the article, and I'm assuming the passport trial includes that resulting history, so I completely encourage more about his later life.

I also want to suggest maybe dividing the early life paragraph into before World War Two and after, with some more contextualization as to his early life. For example, what is Bessarabia? What were the political circumstances into which he was born? At what point did he start getting involved in Romani activism? I know you might not be able to find out all of these things but it's a general starting idea.

One specific sentence I might suggest changing just for clarity reasons is in the Communaute Mondiale Gitane in the second paragraph, second to last sentence, in which you say "The German branch ... challenging previous rejections..." I wasn't sure what you meant by challenging previous rejections, so I would recommend clarifying that!

You could also maybe look at his life through the lens of France, I don't know if there was ever any controversy or action against him besides the part of the article you haven't written.

Tone and Balance
I think you did a good job keeping the tone neutral and the balance even. I didn't feel like I was being overly persuaded to one viewpoint or another, and I think your coverage was fairly rounded. By expanding on the purpose of the organizations in your articles you helped keep it informational and factual.

Sources and References
I don't think there's much to say, other than you definitely need them, but I see your notes for adding them in later! It might be hard to go back and confirm which information came from which source, so my only recommendation would be to make sure that you're extra careful when you go back and add them in. It's also a bit hard to verify the validity and reliability of your references as there are none so far, and your bibliography is a bit vague. So I would also recommend making sure your bibliography is properly cited instead of just links when it comes time to publish it!

Organization
I think this is organized in a cohesive and logical manner, as we start out with his early life and then touch on his achievements in a chronological order. I assume your following unfinished sections are in chronological order as well, which I think is a great choice. My one suggestion would be like I said earlier, which is splitting your early life paragraph into before and after WW2 to really clarify the shift in his life.

Overall
Overall, I thought your article was clearly very thoughtfully put together, and I can see all the work you put into it. I really learned a lot through reading this article, and you did a really great job expanding on what his accomplishments actually involved and meant to the culture at the time. I would just make sure you put in your references and format your bibliography.