User:Reindeer.and.sloth/History of books/Mbuyer2 Peer Review

Lead:


 * I think you could add a lead section (or that you're already working on adding) that includes one sentence from each section of the Islamic world that links down to the Islamic world section. Hopefully others that add in the future would follow suit so that someone can quickly find information specifically about the history of books in Islam.
 * It doesn't seem like you should be responsible for doing a complete overhaul of the articles current lead section because its not about our class.

Content:


 * The content is relevant to the topic and up to date.
 * You have a lot of great and diverse information, but it also means that each section does not go into as much detail. The "Introduction to printing" section of your draft is very strong, but if you have time you could add a sentence or two more about the Ilkhanid period (I'm thinking of the reading we just did in class) and add who the audience of books were in some of the subsections and especially in periods where books were meant more as memory devices.
 * This addresses equity gaps by discussing Eastern works rather than just the Western works already in the article.
 * I'm struggling with the information on the Early period about papyrus. Since there is already a section in the article and another wikipedia page o papyrus, you could add your information to the papyrus section, especially since it already mentions Papyrus in Egypt and keep the remaining information in this section.

Tone and balance:


 * Tone and balance are great- seems neutral and does not include opinions. I'm not an expert on the topic, but the information seems well represented, especially compared to what we've learned in class.
 * The information does not appear to be pushing the reader in any direction, especially since scholarship is pretty certain on this topic.

References:


 * All of the references that include links work. There are a lot of sources, although I noticed that many of them are from the Met or Jonathan Bloom (who seems to be one of the top experts). I looked at Index Islamicus and was not able to find much more, so this may not be in your control.

Organization:


 * The content added is well written and easy to read.
 * I would recommend switching from passive voice to active voice whenever possible. (ex. "In this period, an array of book types were produced in addition to the Quran.." Instead, consider "In this period, authors produced an array of book types..." This includes more specificity when possible and is more concise.
 * I like the way your sections are organized now, but leaving a comment on the talk page for future editors about your organization concerns could be helpful.

Images:


 * The images are great and captioned well and it seems like they are from the Wiki commons page we should be using. I didn't notice them at first because they are on the side- This is good because it doesn't distract from reading but if you want them to be more noticeable then consider putting a few on the left side of the page.

Overall: Your content definitely adds to the article and it is clear that you have done research on this topic. The strong points of the article is the organization, images, clarity/tone and number of sources. I would recommend switching to active voice and seeing if there is a way to integrate the information in the early period section and adding more information about the audiences in each period.

I am obviously not an expert on this topic and I tried to be as straightforward as possible in this feedback. If you have any specific questions about the article or the feedback I'm happy to discuss! Great job, this looks like it was a lot of work :)

General info

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 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
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