User:ReluctantRambler/Vanguard (organization)/KennyKetchum Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

ReluctantRambler


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ReluctantRambler/Vanguard_%28organization%29?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Vanguard (organization)
 * Vanguard (organization)

Origin
Adrian Ravarour, a Mormon youth minister based in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco, founded the gay-rights organization Vanguard in 1965, which lasted until 1967. Despite being nominally a gay rights organization, Vanguard members connected the struggles of their gay members with the struggles of their transgender members, building an inclusive movement centered on queer youth on city streets. Susan Stryker, in her book "Transgender History," argues that Vanguard is the first such organization in the United States created explicitly for queer youth. The organization dissolved in 1967, but the publication it produced, Vanguard Magazine, continued until 1978 under Keith St. Claire.

Vanguard encouraged its members and the broader queer community to use militant tactics in efforts to produce social change and make a safer environment for queer people, resulting in the Compton's Cafeteria Riot of 1966. Vanguard held formal and informal meetings in Compton's, as Vanguard's largely poor, queer, and socially ostracized youth members found the Cafeteria to be more accessible than other places in the Tenderloin due to the ease of access it offered to Vanguard's largely poor members. In response to the queer youth of Vanguard using Compton's with greater frequency, management attempted to limit access to the restaurant. Vanguard members faced "service charges" for using the space without purchasing food, security guards, and management calling police on queer youth in the restaurant.

Lead
Vanguard, an organization made for LGBT youth (primary gay and trans youth), was active in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco from 1965-1967. Vanguard, originally an organization dedicated to building "street power," grew into a more radical queer rights organization during the tenure of its second leader, Jean-Paul Marat (a pseudonym taken from a French Revolutionary leader). The trans-friendly stance of Vanguard was influenced by recent developments in transgender healthcare in the United States. Dr. Harry Benjamin published The Transsexual Phenomenon in 1966, a text that argued for supporting transition and for caring for trans people rather than pathologizing them, returning to the style of treatment employed by Magnus Hirschfeld at the Institute for Sexual Research in Berlin. Susan Stryker has argued that Vanguard's shift towards militancy, most notably seen in the Compton's Cafeteria Riot, was a combination of Benjamin's medical views gaining credence in the US (a number of his patients may have been Vanguard members, as they lived in the Tenderloin) and other queer riots at Cooper Do-Nut in Los Angeles in 1959 and Dewey's, a cafeteria in Philadelphia, in 1965.


 * 1) clear and concise wording, objective and neutral tone
 * 2) change passive voice to past tense; for instance "resulting to" to "which resulted in."
 * 3) again change passive voice, and some suggested reorganization of this sentence: "Dr. Harry Benjamin published The Transsexual Phenomenon in 1966, which argued for supporting transition and for caring for trans people rather than pathologizing them. The text also argued to return the style of treatment employed by Magnus Hirschfeld at the Institute for Sexual Research in Berlin. "
 * 4) for this sentence bit of a run-on, here are my suggestions: "Susan Stryker has argued that Vanguard's shift towards militancy (most notably seen in the Compton's Cafeteria Riot) was a combination of Benjamin's medical views gaining credence in the US (a number of his patients may have been Vanguard members, as they lived in the Tenderloin) and other queer riots at the time. These other riots occurred at Cooper Do-Nut in Los Angeles in 1959 and Dewey's, a cafeteria in Philadelphia, in 1965. "