User:Rivico/Robert Grosseteste/Bennett Sutter Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Rivico


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rivico/Robert_Grosseteste?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Robert Grosseteste - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Having parts of the original article surrounding the new addition would be helpful in identifying where this edit would be placed in the main article, with the edited part being indicated in some sort of way. The source that is used seems reliable and useful to this topic, and a neutral stance is taken. The edit that was made is of good quality. My main critique is there could be a greater quantity of edits. The statement "...and either clara or obscura with the material being either purum or impurum" could maybe be slightly rephrased. It makes sense, but it could use a comma after "obscura" or some other way to prevent it from running into the rest of the sentence.

Response to Peer review
Thank you for your advice, I will surround my edit with parts of the original article, insert more edits, and try to rephrase that aforementioned statement. The only issue is that there are no direct translations for his definitions so the phrase is going to be a bit abstract no matter how I rephrase it. I'm glad that the one edit I did make was of good quality.