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Bogart Schmills
Bogart Schmills (march 3, 1899-may 12, 2001) is a deceased martial arts technician, mostly famous for fathering Bruce Lie's Melancholy Cobra style. This Ancient Transylvanian technique uses quick strikes mainly of mental agitation and put downs. Bogart Schmills picked up this style while racing ostriches in moscow, Soviet Russia in the spring of 1924, when he attended a junior high dance. One cool boy was fiercely attaking a more nerdy boys mentality by throwing half witty judgements based solely around his broken glasses. When the nerdy fella' struck back by proving to everyone that the cool kid was a closet homosexual, eventually making the cool kid cry and run home probably to a closet, Bogart knew that he had to learn the witty viciousness of this responsive Martial Art. After 16 years of vigorous training, introspection, and nights of sulking, Dr. Schmills grew to have the heart of a cobra and the striking ability to cause melancholy to any adversary. Although this would seem to be enough to go into the Martial Arts hall of fame, Bogart became a shoe in when he assisted famous actor and somewhat skilled martial artist, Bruce Lie in the techniques of the Cobra. Bruce Lie is a nobody with or without Dr. Bogart Schmills.