User:Rmking505/Kitasato Shibasaburō/Tdeppong Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Rmking505


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Rmking505/Kitasato Shibasaburō
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kitasato Shibasaburō

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think the draft is a strong start to the Wikipedia article changes. In particular, one aspect I think you do very well is maintaining a neutral tone throughout the writing. I do not feel like there is any strong bias displayed in the writing at all. I think the information added is helpful and nicely expands upon what is included in the existing article.

One area that I think could be improved for the draft is adding sections. This would allow for a differentiating between the topics you are discussing, and would allow the reader to more easily find information that they are looking for. One potential way of splitting it up that I could see would be dividing it into his work with the bubonic plane and his later career with the educational institute and in politics. I think those are different enough to warrant separate sections. The separate sections would then help with the flow of the article and make it really clear what you are discussing in each part. Additionally, this could help you know where you want to add more detail and information as you finish the final assignment.

Another potential area for growth would be to add pictures or media to the article. Maybe if there are any photographs from the Institute or Kitasato after he was inducted as a member of the House of Peers, that could add some nice visuals to the assignment. However, I don't think that is absolutely necessary to have a high quality article, but it might be nice to include if you find anything relevant. Overall, I thought you did a really nice job with your article draft and it will add a lot of useful information to expand on the original article!