User:RobieHillier/Palm-wine music/Hugh Beresford1997 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Robie


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Palm-wine music


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Palm-wine_music&oldid=1023321413

Lead
The lead could use another sentence or two for just adding more information on the overall article. But it is pretty comprehensive for the article.

Content
The content is really good here. Maybe for that first section of history. What were the cultures that the sailors were from? Maybe neame them to add more context. This may be a really good place to add a historical or political article and make connections or extensions from the cultures and the music styles that influenced the Ghana palm-wine music culture.

As mentioned in the Highlife article, I think it would be cool to understand why record production was stopped after world war two. It seemed like it was quite popular before that.

Some questions i have that could possibly go towards some extension level thinking are as follows.

What is Palm-Wine music doing now? is it still being used? is it a style that exists in Ghana today? have other people adopted it? Did another style of music replace it? if so why? Was there a stigma of colonialism attached to it? Or did it evolve into another genre? Maybe it ended because of a geopolitical reason.

I love the section on the Grandfather of the Highlife. But I think there can be further questions on this also. What made him so famous. What language did he sing in and why?. More importantly though what were the stories he told and what about them influenced the listeners so greatly? Were they old folk tales or were they current events were they to raise awareness for a political reason. The reader is told about this legend but then left wondering what made him so great. If he is such a big figure I am sure there is some research out there about him. I think he also deserves his own paragraph if this is the case.

Tone Balance
The tone balance is good. I see there were some good articles already present and your information compliments the articles very well.

ORganization
The organization of the article is good. But i really liked the way you organized the history article. Maybe consider adding subheaders to break up the text rather then just starting a new section by shift button-

like so.

Images and Media
There could definitely be images and media here. I think the smaller the article the more images become important. Some images relating to place, instruments, Ghana bands, palm-wine bars, even sailors from the era might help give some visual context and add to the quality of the article.

Overall impressions
I liked this article. i think it is such a cool area of expertise you are working on Robbie. Such a cool history. I do think this article is bursting with potential though. It could be more about the political climate of Ghana or how the music was seen by the different demographics in Ghana during the height of Palm-Wine music. love this topic so much. I added these three articles just incase you hadn't seen them but they may have something inn them about the political climate. It would be so fascinating to see how palm-wine music was used and seen in Ghana. Hope all these comments helped. If you want any clarification let me know! I can be a messy writer sometimes lol.

Denning, M. (2015). Noise uprising: The audiopolitics of a world musical revolution. Verso Books.

Akyeampong, E. (1996). What's in a Drink? Class Struggle, Popular Culture and the Politics of Akpeteshie (Local Gin) in Ghana, 1930–67. The Journal of African History, 37(2), 215-236. doi:10.1017/S0021853700035209

Matczynski, W. (2011). Highlife and its Roots: Negotiating the social, cultural, and musical continuities between popular and traditional music in Ghana.