User:RockySurfaces/Oak Ridges Moraine/User5843 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Username: RockySurfaces


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:RockySurfaces/Oak_Ridges_Moraine?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Oak Ridges Moraine

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
The lead provides a good summary of the article's contents, and is led by a strong introductory sentence. Aside from the two sections described in the lead (geologic origins and political action), the other major sections such as the hydrology, ecology, research on the moraine, development pressures, and conservation sections are not clearly outlined in the lead. Additionally, the article body in this draft is not included in the section. Since this draft is a new section of the article, it would be beneficial to include this information in the lead.

Content
The users draft for a new section related to the bedrock geology at the Oak Ridges Moraine is relevant to the article's content, and a good addition in my opinion. To provide users with a better understanding of the topic, I believe it would be beneficial to expand upon the information already incorporated in the draft. For example, in the second sentence of the draft when discussing the unconformity and the resulting loss of information in the depositional and crystalline record, it would be helpful to explain why this aspect of the bedrock geology is important (ex. helps with lithostratigraphic correlation) and what caused this unconformity. All information added into the draft is up to date. Some older sources used are government publications which provide reliable information, but a more recent document with the same information would be better in comparison.

Tone and Balance
The section draft provided represents a neutral viewpoint. The writing reflects the information found from sources in a balanced and and unbiased tone, and does not attempt to persuade the reader.

Sources and References
All content added into the new section draft was backed up with reliable sources including peer-reviewed articles from reputable journals (ex. Journal of Applied Geophysics) and government publications. The information provided in the draft is representative of its corresponding citation, and thoroughly conveys the same information as other available literature. The government publications used are older sources, but upon looking no other more recent source was found that provided the information required, which makes them suitable and reliable sources for this draft. Upon looking for the source: Johnson, M.D; Armstrong, D.K; Sanford, B.V; Telford, P.G; Rutka, M.A (1992). "Paleozoic and Mesozoic geology of Ontario". Ontario Geological Survey Special Volume, 4: 907–1008. I was unable to find an electronic version of the source. Was it available online or was this source a hardcopy? If it was an electronic version, providing a link to the source would be beneficial. An alternative source that may be used that provides information relevant to the new section draft is: Gao, C. (2011). Buried bedrock valleys and glacial and subglacial meltwater erosion in southern Ontario, Canada. Canadian Journal of Earth Sciences, 48(5), 801–818. https://doi.org/10.1139/e10-104. This source may be a better alternative considering it is a newer publication, and is from a reputable peer-reviewed journal that conveys information that could be used to improve this draft and/or replace an already existing citation. All other links work and are reliable sources that supplemented the information in the draft well.

Organization
The content is well written and does not contain any grammar or spelling mistakes. To improve the conciseness of the first sentence I suggest implementing the following change: "At the Oak Ridges Moraine system, rocks from the Ordovician Period underly the sediment and are a large part of the bedrock geology, aside from the presence of some older basement rock beneath." Aside from this, the draft is organized and has a good flow, but considering the draft is only a single paragraph, upon further expansion splitting the information into sections would further improve the draft.

Images and Media
No images were added to the draft, but there are images in the existing article. An image depicting the bedrock geology of the Oak Ridges Moraine system may be helpful for readers to better understand the information in the article, and could aid in the overall improvement of the article.

Overall Impressions
Overall the draft was well written, and the content added was relevant to the existing article and would aid in the article's improvement once complete. My only suggestion is to add more information related to the bedrock geology of the Oak Ridges Moraine system to better reflect all of the available information on the topic, by incorporating more sources and expanding on the information already provided in the draft.