User:Rojinkharrazi/Evaluate an Article

Article in question: Habiba Alsafar

Review by Rojinkharrazi

Article about Habiba Alsafar, a geneticist and a medical engineer in the UAE. It is a shorter article than I expected so here are my suggestions:


 * Education and Training
 * Did she get recognized for research, etc. in her undergrad years?
 * where the universities she attended recognized for the programs she was in? If so mention that. Further research on her background would help expand on this section.
 * Did she graduate top of class, etc.?


 * Research section:
 * It was a bit sloppy and hard to read.
 * I would start off by introducing her research, then write about the significance of her research. The last sentence in this section was a bit out of place, expanding on how the UAE has the second rate of diabetes early on in the paragraph would help, and how her research ties into this issue would help with the structure of the paragraph.
 * More on this, the wording is awkward: "The UAE is said to have the second highest rates of diabetes worldwide" Is this a fact? If so use wording that suggests confidence in that fact, "if so" needs to go.


 * Awards and Recognition section:
 * "ruler" of Dubai... be more specific with the title, is it president, PM, etc.
 * Was she recognized and awarded for a specific article? If so expand on your thought. This section consist of a paragraph that lists her awards but doesn't really expand on the significance of it.
 * Citations
 * They were good, many redirected me to small "bios" and intros about this scientist.
 * Her LinkedIn was one of the citations, is that credible?
 * Article 2 in the citations redirects your to the first woman on the list of "100 Most Powerful Arab Women 2015", where is she on the list? can you redirect the link to her or include where she is on the list in your citation?

Overall, work on reformatting your article. It is a bit choppy and needs a better flow.

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