User:Ronan Conlon

Ronan Conlon, or "Conlondinho" as he is more commonly known by his teammates, was born in Galway on 26th January 1992. He is a footballer who plays for Salthill Devon in the League of Ireland First Division. His nickname comes from his renowned silky trickery and ball skills on the pitch. He plays centre midfield or left midfield.

Ronan is also frequently known as Samurai Ro. Some have cited this nickname as a reference to his Chinese roots, while others maintain that it originated due to Ronan being very sneaky, like a samurai.

In March 2013 Ronan left Salthill Devon after a very public bust up and decided to persue his GAA career with Salthill/Knocknacarra. After a string of high level performances Ronan was forced to leave the team due to work commitments in Asia. Although work was the main reason for his departure there are still many who believe that work had nothing to do with him leaving and that he infact left to further develop his skills as a samurai, a sneaky samurai.

In May 2013, Ronan will be returning back to his beloved Hong Kong, where some say is the city where his ancestors originated from. The full extent of his return home has not yet been discovered, however rumour has it that he is returning to further enhance his samurai skills,while others have questioned this thought and believe his return is purely recreational.

On September 5th Ronan shocked the world with the announcement of his new girlfriend 'Ruth Storan', which led to the one of the most famous quotes of our time, '' Remember Remember the 5th of September! '' . The new relationship has led to global fear as there has never been a creature bread from a sneaky samurai and a daywalker. What plan Wonan Conwon has concocted we do not know but no doubt it is a swinful and dastardly one. Just when we thought Wonan was at his sneakiest he shocks us all and gets even that little bit sneakier.

Now that his relationship is over Ronan can often be spotted around various nightclubs on his phone texting and ringing Ruth in floods of tears. He has also been known to Smash it on a regular basis. If Ronan's anywhere near it he'll smash it!

On the 31st of January 2014, Ronan signed a one year contract on transfer deadline day with Galway FC. On the 1st of February 2014, Ronan played his first game with Galway FC in a friendly against Sligo Rovers, where he came on as second half substitute to help his side to a 5-3 victory. However in a shock interview, Ronan has threatened he may leave Galway FC only days after signing his contract, claiming he will be on the move to Thailand during the summer if he is not a regular in the Galway FC team. It is unclear as of yet to Ronan's reasons for wanting out, but some claim he is looking for guidance off his sensei, who currently resides in the city of Bangkok, while others believe he is tempted to try his luck in the Thai premier league. As of this point Galway FC have not responded to Ronan's threats of regular game time.

In the middle of March Ronan Conlon followed through with his threat and, on somewhat suspicious grounds, left Galway FC. Although the club claim it was 'mutual consent' there are many sceptics who believe the staff at GFC didn't fully encourage Ronan's samurai way of life and never fully appreciated his sneakiness and that there is still a lot of bitterness between the two parties. Undercover sources have also sourced an airline ticket in Ronan Conlon's name for the destination of Bangkok this June. If these reports are true it can only be presumed that Ronan is once again returning to Asia to further develop his skills as a samurai. Although they're are many who believe his trip is one of discovery and he is hoping to trace his roots and discover the true identity of his parents. Though loving and kind Tom and Mary Conlon both are, it is clear to see that they couldn't of been capable of creating such a sneaky and narrow eyed young boy. Ronan or 'Wonan' as he now likes to be referred as has stayed silent over the trip and has refused to acknowledge that said trip exists. Surely another prime example of his undeniable sneakiness.

Ronan or "Ronald" as he now likes to be referred recently made the drastic move of moving to 1st division side Salthill Devon in an attempt to regain his footballing confidence. Tagging out on Sunday mornings in venues such as Loughrea, Colemanstown and Oranmore, Ronald had managed to get his career back on track. He has scored in as many games as he has played and this new found ability to score has been mirrored to his actions off the pitch. Whether he's gracing the field away to Colemanstown or sucking back a steamer in the smoking area of electric on a Friday night one thing is for sure, Ronald will score! On what can only be described as the hottest streak of his life this former samurai turned pornstar seems to have really turned his career around. Scoring goals and fingering holes week in week. But all good spells have to come to an end sooner or later.

On the 26th of December 2014, Ronan was involved in a near fatal accident with new fling Eimear Tyrell. Under the influence Ronan decided to go for a late night dive in relatively dangerous waters. With no scuba equipment or snorkel, Ronan passed out whilst diving deep. After regaining consciousness, Ronan was dismayed when discovering Ms. Tyrell had left the scene, too only find out she was disillusioned with his rather poor diving skills. Witnesses say Ronan acted like "a disgrace" and have suggested the young samurai to consider the 'Buddy System' when making such a dive. As of yet no statement has been made by Ronans football club Salthill Devon.

Recent reports have suggested that Ronan Conlon may be getting his football career back on track. Closes sources have revealed Ronald may in fact be on his way to the USA to play college ball in Ohio. When we asked some of his closest friends how they think this move will go it was answered with mixed review. a good move for his career,  Ronald will do some damage in America were just some of the positive messages his friends had for him but there were also a few who chose to ignore the question completely stating, he's only a knacker, a fucking disgrace, and one friend in particular answered with the words "would ya look at him, just look at him, he hasn't a clue!". Having recently got off the mark for 2015 this move can only be good for Ronald and he'll be hoping to add to what has been a slow start to the year by his standards.