User:Roofyoh

"Totesum"

"Totesum" derived from the old Latin language of awesomtotes means "Totally Awesome"

Created by the mythical being known only to man as Danswan "Lord Contact Centre Manager"

It is widely believed that Danswan was once a phoenix from the dream time that became so disgusted with how "up tight" the world had become he transformed himself into a God like man to walk among the human world free of constant praise and sacrifices.

Upon entering this world Danswan set about on changing it into a far more "Totesum" world filled with relaxed if not drunken behaviour filled with met KPI's, alcohol, fine cigars and beautiful Swedish women.

No one truly understands this Danswan but my god is he handsome and muscular in stature.... It is widely believed that he is the driving force behind such greats as Genghis Kahn, Caesar, Alexander the great and of course One Direction! (Right up until they become "totesumnot" (Totally not Awesome) at which point he ordered the sacrifice of Zane from the group.....

His passion for success is matched only by his love of Asahi and without him in the shadows of men the world would be a dull and otherwise lifeless existence filled with Bono and Taylor Swift covers........

It is for this reason that we give tribute to Danswan by selling such products as Fetch, Mobiles and Broadband while giving our 1st born to the cause of sales.

Danswan never requested these great sacrifices, why would he? His a reasonable God who only asks for perfection in sales and only his Holy days which just so happen to be 364 days out of the year........

We do not know why he is so generous in giving his followers a day off however some have said it is so he can battle the other gods such as the evillest of them.... Santa Clause!!!!