User:Rosie1470/Ore shoots/Jclawlor Peer Review

General info
Rosie1470
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Rosie1470/sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ore shoot

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The opening lead paragraph unfortunately has not yet been edited. I believe that the original introduction is a great starting point, but needs improvement. For example, it only contains 3 vague sentences about what an ore shoot is, and all of the them start with "An ore shoot..." or "The ore shoot...". Someone that is unfamiliar with ore shoots might not get the full scope of what they are, so for the future, you could focus on developing an introduction that has a more descriptive section explaining an ore shoot, and more information about what the rest of the article is about. Including a sentence or two about where they form, what do they look like, why are they useful, and some examples would really strengthen this introduction.

Content

There is not a huge amount of content within the article so far, and the content available is okay. It defines what an ore shoot is, where they are formed, what they look like and a couple examples of where some significant ore shoots are located, but very briefly. The original article is great because it gives you a couple starting points that you could build off of, much like the introduction. As long as you can expand on the available ideas, this article could become very good.

So far, the only new section added to the article resides in the "Locations" section. It is a paragraph about Jianzhupo deposit. This is a great addition to the locations section, but it lacks information related to the article. Yes, it is an ore shoot and it is explained that it has been studied for any years, but why? Is there a specific reason why this ore shoot is so significant and is it significant enough to add an entire section about it in your article? I really feel like this article has lots of potential and with the addition of more content, it will become a very solid article used by many people.

Tone and Balance

The tone is good and neutral. The article states facts without attempting to convince or persuade the reader about certain topics. There is a bit of discrepancy between the level of writing between the first few sections and the locations section. The first few sections is fairly basic and the locations section has a very descriptive and scientific tone. If you are able to mend all the sections together to sound more homogenous in the future, it would greatly improve the article as a whole. A good mix between scientific and causal neutral writing allows for all readers to understand the information provided.

Sources and References

Right now, there is a lack of references that dimmish the quality of the article. For example, references for both the veins and size and structure sections are needed to show where the information came from. How do you know that veins are 30m -150m tall and 1.5 - 6.1m thick. A quick search on google scholar for "Ore shoots" would be a good place to start (that prompt returns about 116,000 papers on ore shoots). The more references you have the better, it can be a lot of reading but reading the abstract of papers can give you a good idea if the paper is useful or not. Some papers I found that might help are "Ore shoots in folded and fractured rocks – Insights from 3D modelling of the Fosterville gold deposit (Victoria, Australia)" from 2020 and "Kilometre-scale structural setting of ore shoots in the Frasers gold deposit, Macraes mine, New Zealand" from 2017.

Organization

I enjoy how the article is set up. It has the intro, where they form, what they can look like, and some examples of significant ore shoots. It is set up for readers to learn about where to find them and how they look, and later uses examples to support the first sections. A suggestion could be to develop a large emphasis on how they can look and where they form. Because the article is on ore shoots, the most important information needed is what they are and what they look like. So, having one or two large sections on what they are could help this article. Another suggestion is to add a section how long they take to form and what are the process that cause them to form. Is it faults, earthquakes, or another geological activity that causes them to form? Are the minerals found within them already in the ground or do they form later? These are some question you could ask yourself and answer to make an intriguing article.

Images and Media

More images and media would be beneficial for this article. So far, there is only one image and it is rather difficult to understand what it is. For someone new to geology and ore veins, they could find it hard to see how the image relates to the text. A good way to incorporate images is to used diagrams of what ore shoots look like. In many cases, someone new to the topic would not be able to point out a veins or ore shoot from a real-life image, and the best way to learn how to identify them is using drawings. There is a great example in this article "Geostatistical Determination of Ore Shoot Plunge and Structural Control of the Sizhuang World-Class Epizonal Orogenic Gold Deposit, Jiaodong Peninsula, China". If you look at Figure 10, you can see how they form. The diagram would need some explanation, but it is a colorful graphic that can easily be interpreted.

Overall, this article needs a little work but I am excited to read it once it is finished. I hope my suggestions helped!