User:Rumrunner3210/Water/Kedmvl Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Rumrunner3210


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Rumrunner3210/water sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Water

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
No change to the existing lead has been drafted yet, possibly due to the fact that much of the proposed changes have not fully been implemented yet. It is proposed that, once the necessary additions are finished, a few lines summarizing the new information are placed in the article's lead.

Structure and Organization
Not much has yet been written, however the four proposed sections make excellent sub-headers. They will clearly organize the "Law, politics, and crisis" section of the existing article.

Talk Page
The talk page contains updates on the status of the draft, along with a proposed source of information. One point which should be mentioned in the talk page is how he intends for these additions to the article to be structured, and any sub-sub-headings which will be proposed.

Clarity and Neutrality
There has not been much written for these additions yet. However, what additions have been drafted are clear, concise, and present a neutral point of view, citing facts (such as "In 2019 the sources for 2 billion people globally was found to be contaminated with fecal matter, and that drinking from contaminated water supplies is responsible for 485,000 deaths every year." ) so as to avoid posting opinions and violating neutrality.

Balanced Coverage
So far, only the previously mentioned quotation and a brief yet effective paragraph summarizing a study on sustainability, water quality, and climate change have been added. However, there are four other proposed topics which presumably will be included in the final draft. These include the Flint water crisis, the global water policy, water rights and corporations (bottling companies), and water scarcity and climate change. Once added, these sections will provide a much needed current-event based portion of the Water article. These proposed additions cover a wide range of topics, and are of a public interest. One suggestion to maintain a balanced coverage is to cover water crises from other countries along with the Flint crisis from the USA. This will help avoid a coverage biased towards those living in the USA.

Sources and References
An effort has been made to update the sources and information in this section. For example, the phrase "In 2004, the UK charity WaterAid reported that a child dies every 15 seconds from easily preventable water-related diseases; often this means lack of sewage disposal." was replaced with " In 2019 the sources for 2 billion people globally was found to be contaminated with fecal matter, and that drinking from contaminated water supplies is responsible for 485,000 deaths every year."

All of the references included work, are current, pertinent, and are of a high quality. References are from scholarly articles, reports, or other credible sources. A selection of sources could be added when writing the proposed sub-sections, such as this source for the Flint water crisis.

Overall Impression and Suggestions for Improvement
These additions to the existing page add new and pertinent information which had previously been lacking. Some suggestions for improvement are:


 * Create additions to the lead for the proposed new sections
 * Write the previously mentioned sub-sections
 * Find other water crises across the world to avoid a USA-centered article