User:RunaBellona/Hispala Faecenia notes

Hello, I've become interested in creating a Wikipedia page for Hispala Faecenia. So far I have been working on finding some sources to compile a bibliography. I look forward to working on this page with everyone that might seem interested :)

Thank you RunaBellona (talk) 16:00, 9 February 2020 (UTC)

Instructor Comments on Draft/Peer Review #2
AncientWeapons thanks for your review. You're right, this student has put in a lot of work! Thanks for your suggestions about the proofreading and grammar and the missing info in the citations. It would have been helpful for your peer to have more info on the grammar mistakes (which paragraph has 'twice' twice? Where else did you see mistakes?). Grade: 12.5/15 Gardneca (talk) 13:23, 23 March 2020 (UTC)

RunaBellona first and foremost a reminder to add your response to Peer Review # 2 (from my email on March 17): By tomorrow, March 18 (ideally, but let me know if you can't for whatever reason): 1) Respond to your 2nd peer review in your sandbox talk page (10 points). Make all proofreading, grammatical, spelling, and structural changes. Make revisions if you have time, but in addition to the changes listed above, you must at acknowledge that you have seen the 2nd peer reviewer's suggestions, and write a brief sentence or two explaining what you will add to your article for the final draft and how your final article will be improved. You are currently losing marks for this, so please do it ASAP!

RunaBellona Once again, I'm impressed by the content you've added. I'm not sure how much more content you still plan on adding, but I think you've done an excellent job so far, and you should actually consider spending the rest of your time and attention devoted to improving the layout, grammar, sentence-structure, etc. So, up to know you've essentially done an info-dump: added as much info you can find on the topic. This is great, because now your job going forward is going to be to think about that info and how best to present it to an audience that knows absolutely nothing on this topic. You have wonderful content, the weakness of your page at the moment is the presentation. So, grammar and proofreading! Read each sentence out loud, get a friend or family member to look it over, run it through Grammarly, etc. I also want you to address the headings and subheadings. Look at other examples of pages about ancient people/biographies and see how they're organized (I did one last semester on Phye for example). Obviously you aren't going to have as much information as with the biography of someone better known, but usually these pages are presented chronologically, from birth to death, with subheadings for occupations, sources, etc. So, for example, her profession should definitely NOT be a subsection of her love life - these should be two separate sections. I can help you with this if you run into trouble, but please think about how you will restructure the headings and organization for the final draft. The last thing I want to make sure you address are your citations: your Watson citations have errors, and you absolutely must include passage references from your primary source (Livy). You will easily be able to find Livy online, again please let me know if you have any trouble. Keep up the wonderful work, you're in the home stretch! Grade: 15/15 Gardneca (talk) 13:23, 23 March 2020 (UTC)

Peer Review #2AncientWeapons (talk) 02:32, 16 March 2020 (UTC)
Hi RunaBellona/AncientWeapons, I'm doing your second peer review. Your article is quite well written but some changes can be made. I first noticed that you should reread your work, there are some grammar mistakes. In one paragraph you used a word twice in one sentence. Your first citation does not seem to work and some of your references need to be fixed up because they are either missing information or some information was added incorrectly. Your work is good, but I feel you could remove quoting Livy so often. Your layout is very good, is it possible to add a image on your page, not just linking them. An Image would enhance it. Your references are good, with some more polishing it will be a very good article to read and learn from. The setup of your page shows the reader how hard you work on a brand new article. I hope these suggestions will help you as you go into the nest phase of the assignment. I really could not find that much to critic you on. Good luck on your next phase.AncientWeapons (talk) 02:30, 16 March 2020 (UTC)

Hi AncientWeapons, I appreciate your advice. In my final draft, I will reread my work and make necessary changes to grammar mistakes, work on my citations and references, and add an image to my page. Thank you for all your suggestions and I wish you good luck with your article as well. --RunaBellona (talk) 01:09, 24 March 2020 (UTC)RunaBellona

Instructor Comments of Draft/Peer Review 1
RunaBellona, your first peer review can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:RunaBellona/Hispala_Faecenia/Nealthane_Peer_Review. If you would like to move the content of this peer review to your article's talk page, please feel free to copy-and-paste it over.

Comments: Your draft is very impressive. I know how much work goes into creating a page from scratch, and you've done an incredible job so far. You are also very fortunate to have received an exceptional peer review, so please take into consideration all the comments they made and incorporate those suggestions into your draft this week. You've already added a substantial amount about Hispala, her narrative, and the Bacchanalia from Livy, now your challenge will be to expand on that information and talk about scholarship about her, rather than just her story. Finally, I suggest bringing the next version of your draft to the writing centre for a quick visit - I really think they will be able to help you organize and present this information in a clear manner. Excellent work so far, keep up the hard work! Grade: 20/20 Gardneca (talk) 20:45, 2 March 2020 (UTC)

Annotated Bibliography
RunaBellona great bibliography so far. I'm really excited to see where this page goes. Here are a couple additional sources to look into! Grade: 10/10 Gardneca (talk) 15:46, 21 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Watson, A. (2005). Bacchanalian rewards: Publius Aebutius and Hispala Faecenia. Fundamina, 11, 411.
 * Watson, A. (1991). Studies in Roman private law. A&C Black.
 * (If you can read French) Humbert, M. (1987). Hispala Faecenia et l'endogamie des affranchis sous la République.
 * Kajanto, I. (1972). Women's praenomina reconsidered. Arctos; Acta Philologica Fennica, 7, 13.