User:Rustler kid



Rustler Kid is the slang name for the boy who ate one too many Rustler Burgers. Well, 1 too many is a understatement, Mark ate over 36,000 last year, amounting to nearly 100 burgers a day consuming the equivalent of 10 pigs of fat a day or what many have come to call, a Markgram. This is equivalent to over a trillion grams.

They say on average, the Rustler Burger shortens you life by an hour everytime one is eaten, but it appears Mark has got to the stage where he is immune to the effects and is actually slowly becoming immortal since his body removed all the blood from his arteries and replaced it with mechanically reclaimed beef. When asked about this fact, Mark claimed "It's more efficient than blood, it helps me play rugby better"

However, not all customers were as satisfied with the product:

"Good Points: 

''The fact it was in the reduced section of the supermarket with about 20 others. This should have rung alarm bells straight away!''

Bad Points:

Eating it!

General Comments:

''Trying to consume a Rustlers Big One is like eating a slightly damp door mat. The texture makes you want to eject it straight away, but the sogginess from microwaving it makes you try a couple more chews first. Big mistake! It was on further chewing that I discovered hard white gristle, which then made me throw the rest in the bin."''

External link

 * Rustlers
 * Rustlers Review