User:Ruthchitiz/sandbox

style/context ideas in italics

grammar/structure in bold

note: Check your spelling of Uighurs/Uyghurs as it is changes throughout the text

SBNR edits on Islam in China Group Work
Relations with non-Muslims

Early History

In their early history, Muslims residing in China (in a specific area in China or as whole?) had closer interactions with adherents of other various faiths (What other faith? this should be cited). Muslims treated the works of Confucius with considerable respect, pointing out the harmony between the two doctrines[131] and ethical norms.[132] (so if Muslim and Confucian values go together does this mean it created more harmony between them?) (Maybe give some examples of the harmony between Islam and Confucianism in order for the reader to have a better understanding.) Muslims saw their numbers increase in the 17th century with a large number of Chinese Jews converting to Islam. (Can you explain why this happened? Or can you provide any statistical support for this claim? This statement seems out of context.) [131] Muslim General Ma Bufang allowed polytheists to openly worship, and Christian missionaries to station themselves in Qinghai (where is this? as a visual person I'd like to picture the region). General Ma and other high ranking Muslim generals (Can you include some names and add a pipe link to their wikipedia pages?) even attended the Kokonuur Lake Ceremony where the God of the Lake was worshipped, and during the ritual, the Chinese national anthem was sung. All participants bowed to a portrait of Kuomintang party founder Dr. Sun Zhongshan (Sun Yat-sen), and the God of the Lake was also bowed to, and offerings were given to him by the participants, which included the Muslims.[133] (so it looks like in this paragraph it looks like you are highlighting how Muslims were able to get along well with the rest of the Chinese people. Maybe a sentance explicitly saying that, since our audience is the general public. never hurts to be obvious) Ma Bufang invited Kazakh Muslims to attend the ceremony honoring the God.[134] Ma Bufang received audiences of Christian missionaries, who sometimes gave him the Gospel.[135] His son Ma Jiyuan received a silver cup from Christian missionaries.[136] (Explain why these additions are relevant. What does this say about Islamic-Confucian relations? What does this say about Islam's place in China? Elaborate.)

Before the early 20th century, some observers (Who????) did not note any difference among Muslims and non-Muslims in the prevalence of foot binding of women in China.[137][138] (Rephrase: Muslims and non-Muslims both shared similar customs, i.e. the foot-binding of women.) However, in southern China, James Legge (who are all these names you are mentioning..a bit confused) encountered a mosque which had a placard denouncing footbinding, saying it constituted violating the creation of God.[139] (What does this say about Islam's place in China...Expand.)

Historically, Islam and Confucianism were brought together in the Han Kitab (whats this? perhaps include a hyperlink, just helps to put things into context). Jesuit and Muslims in the 16th century entered into a dialogue using each other’s ideas to engage with outsiders.(Explain who you are talking about when you say "outsiders" be specific.) The present day finds the study of the interactions of Muslims and Non-Muslims to be a sparsely populated area, as Chinese society operates in a more closed system (I found this a bit wordy, do you mean "to be IN a sparsely populated area"?).

Some studies have been performed (what studies? don't leave me hanging!) perhaps connect this sentance with the one forthcoming to make me not so alarmed). For example a comparative study of Buddhists and Muslims living in the Menghai area of Yunnan (include a map!) shows that these groups are working together in close communities. By speaking the same language they rely on each other and they are seen as having promising future living together. It is important to remember that there is no one unifying Islam, but many different Islams that are practiced every day (''why does this matter? what are the majority of Islams in China practicing?)''

Relations of Muslims and Non-Muslims in China is an important topic as it helps for the better understanding of the plethora of religious lives in our modern world. Often in the West Islam and Muslims are viewed through a very narrow stereotype of “terrorist” and “arab”. This is untrue and better knowing how others live leads to a more accepting society (AWESOME! I liked this bit! very important to include) (I disagree. Inappropriate for a Wikipedia article. This is an argument and not factual, nor does it relate to our understanding of Islam in China.) Ruthchitiz (talk) 22:52, 15 November 2015 (UTC)

Contemporary Relationships

The contemporary situation between Muslims and non-Muslims in China is represented in the relationship of Muslims with their government and with their fellow Chinese citizens. By looking at specific conflicts in present day China, Islamism, and other positive relations we can get a better view of the contemporary situation between Muslims and non-Muslims in China (so you want to look at more one the ground grassroots as opposed to what the government says? could it be interesting to contrast the views?)

(just a style note, this text is a large block of text and looks intimidating...any way to split it up?) In the 21st century, relations between Chinese Muslims and non Muslims have become increasingly strained. This can be seen in the predominantly Uighur Muslim region of Xinjiang (include a map!) where the Chinese government has banned students, teachers, and civil servants from fasting during the month of Ramadan. The Chinese authorities commented on the ban's implementation, saying that it is meant to protect the health of students and to help maintain state secularism. Uighur rights groups (Can you give an example of these groups and who they are comprised of [i.e. predominantly males? socioeconomic status? age?]) blame the government for the ethnic tensions present in the area and for the Chinese government's systematic approach to eradicating the Muslim identity in the region (why would the Chinese government want to eradicate religions? remember your audience!).

This discrimination faced by the Uighurs has created feelings of alienation and resentment among the Uighurs that has in turn fed into a growing Islamic radicalism in the area. Numbers of Non Muslim Han has skyrocketed in the region (why? is the government trying to assimilate the Uighurs into mainstream Han identity?) as well according to Uighur American Association President, Alim Seytoff (Provide some sort of context - who is this in relation to the conflict?), who claims that the number of non-Muslims has increased exponentially from 6.7 percent in 1949 to 40 percent in 2008. This has inevitably lead to greater ethnic tensions over jobs and resources (Why is this necessarily inevitable?) (why? this is because people prefer to give Han Chinese jobs over the Uighurs?). The actions taken by the government extend beyond banning Ramadan however, and also include deciding which citizens can go to Mosque and which versions of the Qur'an are accessible, allowing for the Chinese government to have considerable control over the Uighur people. (I would add some sort of explanation for this [i.e. which citizens are allowed to go to mosque and why) They have overcome this  this  domination to an extent through the organizing of secret meetings in people's homes (Mishap) (Give examples of this!!!). The feelings of frustration experienced by this group combined with localized gatherings who are witness to the rise of Islamism abroad, has led to an increased reliance being placed on Religion (should the R be capitalized?) and fundamentalism as well.

The Uighurs face far greater restrictions than the Hui Muslims (Who are the Hui Muslims?) of the Ningxia region (where is this? map! whats the relationship?). The Hui people do not desire autonomy like their Uighur counterparts, meaning that the extremist tendencies possessed by some Uighurs (This is contradictory to your previous paragraph. You did not describe the Uighur as having extreme tendencies but rather as a group wishing to exercise their basic religious liberties such as attending mosque and participating in the fast of Ramadan...this is not to be confused with religious extremism. If the Uighur are an extremist group then provide examples in the previous paragraph of how they are.) does not affect the Hui who are content to live with their non - Muslim Han Chinese neighbours. Culturally and geographically, the Hui are closer to the non-Muslim Chinese (How are they culturally similar?) and this has led to Hui assimilation by altering their Islamic beliefs to more compatible with the Han culture they live in. The issue of assimilation is the root cause of Uighur persecution as although the Uighurs speak the Han language like the Hui and Han, they choose to speak their own Turkic dialect and write in Arabic. The Uighur reject ideas of assimilation as they perceive themselves to be the indigenous (if they are indigenous they could ask for help from the UN, has this ever happened?) people of the Xinjiang region, a name that was attributed to the Tarim Basin (where is this?) in the 18th century. The ethnic tensions resulting from Uighur persecution have had serious repercussions in China, as Uighur extremists have been responsible for violent actions across the country. A bombing of a Beijing park in May of 1997 killed one person and a bombing of two buses in the same year killed two people. The Uighur capital of Urumqi in the Xinjiang region has witnessed multiple acts of terrorism, with over 30 such attacks happening in the name of Muslim and Tibetan separatist demands. By the early 21'st century, the East Turkestan Islamic movement had been involved in 200 or more terrorist attacks resulting in 162 deaths and over 440 wounded (how does this relate to the Uighurs?).

(I created new paragraphs to make the text less intimidating, just a suggestion! - M)

Conflict between the Uyghur Muslims and the Chinese government is a key example of the tense relationship that exists in China, not only between Muslims and non-Muslims, but also between the different Muslim groups that co-exist (Coexist or just exist? Be careful with your word selection!) in the country. Uygur Muslims see themselves as being indigenous to the Xinjiang region (You have already made this claim), a neighbour of Afghanistan and Pakistan, and for that reason refuse to assimilate in the same manner as their Hui counterparts, who are more adaptable to the customs of the non Muslim Han of the area. This puts the two Muslim groups at odds and has led to the Chinese government favouring the Hui for their passivity (The word "passivity" has a negative connotation, maybe "reluctance to use militant resistance" or "willingness to accept the status quo" would be more neutral). The Uyghurs however, have been been the victims of persecution as they were banned from practicing Ramadan and told what versions of the Qur’an were appropriate to read (this was mentioned earlier), giving the People’s Republic considerable control over how the Uyghurs practice their faith. This discrimination has led to extremism among the Uyghurs and resulted in the formation of the East Turkestan Islamic movement, a militant Islamist separatist organization (does this organization operate in China?) (You mention the East Turkestan Islamic movement before talking about its formation. This seems like a bizarre choice of placement. Consider rearranging the paragraph to flow properly [i.e. talk about its formation before its militant actions rather than vice versa.)

Authorities have become increasingly concerned with the rise of these Islamic factions, such as the East Turkestan Islamic Movement (ETIM) in certain Chinese provinces (which ones?). China’s far-western region Xinjiang, has experienced repeated violence and other acts of intimidation especially over the past year mobilized by the Uyghur (Repetition.). There has been no particular target of these performances, however it is believed to have been spurred by the economic marginalization and deculturalization (I remember the deculturalization part, but is the economic part the jobs?) the locals feel they have been subjected to. (I would expand on this "economic marginalization"... This is a pretty heavy statement with no proof-text support.) It is tough to understand what the foundations of this violence are [You already explained the reason for this violence as being economic marginalization, deculturalizaiton and religious persecution... Does not seem tough to understand...); between the religious and human rights abuses made by the Chinese government and the radical interpretations of  these Islamic-Chinese factions, it is not very clear. However, it is obvious that serious tensions have risen between Chinese Muslims and their non-Islamic counterparts within their regions (Redundant.).

Chinese Muslims and Islamism

More radical Chinese Muslims have also been reported supporting the ISIS movement, not just in China but also on the ground in Syria and Iraq. It has been estimated that there are around 300 Chinese Muslims active in ISIS territories. Moving forward, the Chinese government has stated that it will not tolerate any form of terrorism and will work to “combat terrorist forces, including ETIM, [to] safeguard global peace, security and stability” (Reuters, 2015).

Separatism, revolt, and Islamism in China are crucial subjects to explore within the topic Islam in China. With the rise of Islamic radicalism in our global context they shed significant light from a Chinese perspective and not just in the typical parameters one thinks of with regard to Islam and radicalism. (What are the typical parameters of regarding Islam and radicalism? Are you referring to a Western conception of this religion and ideologies? And are you referring to the parameters in which on typically perceives of Islam as a religion or as a political force? Be more specific.) Ruthchitiz (talk) 03:12, 16 November 2015 (UTC) Bold text'''

Team SBNR, this is a cogent reading of the Islam in China team's work. You've noted important issues of continuity, context, and neutrality. Collectively, this peer review stands to make the article much more concise and readable. Pointing out how maps would offer a helpful visual was astute, too. Good that you provided an edits "legend" or "key" so that we can all see what changes were made and what they mean. A few edits are signed and others aren't - how was the work divided in this case among reviewers? MonstreDélicat (talk) 15:05, 17 November 2015 (UTC)