User:Rvkl93/Joiri Minaya/Rvkl93 Peer Review

General info
ShariClark16
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:N/A
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Joiri Minaya

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think that it's great that the user did more of a deep dive into the thematic elements of Minaya's work, explaining more of what the artist is trying to achieve when it comes to discussions of identity, colonialism and stereotypes. I would, however, recommend improving on the way in which the article is worded and on proper source citation. The paragraph has a lot of "I" and "I think" sentences. There are also a lot of sentences within this paragraph that need to be cited. A Wikipedia article needs to be impartial and only draw from cited facts, not opinions and feelings (unless the opinion is properly cited, like "x,y,x argues that . . . " or "according to x,y,x . . . "). Overall, the paragraph does not have an impartial, balanced tone. It is also unclear what the title of this subsection is meant to represent. If this pertains to Minaya's art, this might be better served being incorporated into the "Art" section of the article. I think the most important thing that the author can do to improve this addition is making sure that the tone and content of their paragraph is consistent with the rest of the article. With proper editing, I think that what's been added will add some excellent details and insight into the nature of Minaya's work.