User:Rx rlee/Senile pruritus/K.Wong-Pharm Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Rachel Lee (Rx rlee), Daisha Matthews (Daisham13), Vincent Nguyen (Vnguyen11475), Kristina Mai (K.MAII)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rx%20rlee/Senile_pruritus?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Senile pruritus

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

1. Do the group’s edits substantially improve the article as described in the Wikipedia peer review “Guiding framework”?

The article has been substantially improved through the addition of several appropriate section headers to organize information and details regarding the condition. The lead section provides good summarization but can be further expanded upon to cover the sections added to the article such as touching on the treatments of senile pruritus.

2. Has the group achieved its overall goals for improvement?

In the article draft's proposed edits, there were plans to add several sections of background information, signs and symptoms, treatments and solutions, risk factors, and potential causes. They have added sources and information for all of these as well as some additional areas such as complications.

3A. Does the draft submission reflect a neutral point of view?

The article reflects a neutral point of view for the majority of the content. Most of the sections are presented in a neutral academic way, sometimes using heavy academic language such as in the pathophysiology section. These could be aided by either elaborating on more complex terms or adding WikiLinks to relevant articles. Text within the treatment section sometimes presents information with the tone of giving advice suggesting that some treatments are more appropriate or better than others. Using words such as "recommended", "useful", "if possible" , and "one should" all contribute to the tone of giving medical advice and having a positive tone towards some treatments and a negative tone towards others.