User:RyanVpacific/The Life of Immigrants in California/Declanmcj Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Ryan Villena)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * The Life of Immigrants in California


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * The Life of Immigrants in California

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall the writing was had a very neutral tone which is good for wikipedia writing. One thing I will say in general is that the writing is very repetitive. This is especially true with the word choice. I know even I do it too and it is something that we all need to work on. Something else that I think could be stronger is the transition between sentences and ideas. The sourcing in this section is very strong, everything is cited correctly and ideas are backed up well by the sources chosen. I would say that some of the organization could be better, for example I think that the immigrants used as scapegoats should go in front of the immigration act just so the information will flow better. The article definitely meets the requirements of wikipedia source wise and writing wise. Overall I think there are some final finishing touches that could be made like changing some repetitive words and some of the organization but everything else looks good.