User:SJFlood29/William Kittson/JosephineHriscu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SJFlood29


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:SJFlood29/William_Kittson/Bibliography?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_bibliography


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think you accidentally wrote your entire draft in the Bibliography section instead of the Sandbox! I like the emphasis you place on Kittson's importance and accomplishments in the lead, your article has a healthy length, and good job on linking people and places to existing Wikipedia articles. However, make sure to use more neutral language throughout, especially in the lead and beginning of the Journey to the Northwest, and revise your word choice in some places. For example, I think you meant to use an antonym of "hospitable" in this section. Additionally, make sure to cite as frequently as you can throughout the article, rather than only listing sources at the end. I would also recommend adding one or two more sources to your bibliography, adding more specific details to The Journal of William Kittson section, and renaming your last section to something along the lines of "Legacy."