User:Sabmarriie/Pet culture/Aaph Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sabmarriie


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sabmarriie/Pet_culture?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Pet culture

Lead

 * Although the lead does provide a concise definition of the subject of the article, it hasn't been updated with new content, which I think is a shame since not only could the lead afford a few more sentences of elaboration, the original lead also cites a few sources. Though they might not be useful in their entirety, I think they could provide a starting point for what general information about pet culture should be introduced in the lead. Once you have a clearer idea of how you want to section the article, the lead should act as an index of its structure. Related articles on video game culture and design culture could provide a basis.

Content

 * Though the section is titled "Pet Culture in the United States," the first sentence more broadly describes the relationship of pets with modern society. This might be more appropriate to include in the lead or in a higher level section.
 * The next couple sentences introduce what I think are key points about pet culture itself, including the familial bond and how it manifests in social media, as well as its effects on ecology, which are interesting. And while these are relevant to pet culture, I'm not sure how relevant they are to pet culture in the United States. Things that are touched on but not fleshed out in these sentences, such as current trends as well as the kinds of pets that are owned (cats and dogs) are specific to the United States, and should be the focus of this section. You're on the right track with the last sentence of the first paragraph, but it might help to paint a clear trajectory from past to present.
 * First of all, I think a good rule of thumb is for each sentence to have its own claim, so try to merge these separated sentences instead of using one to introduce the other. Second, the second half of the first paragraph doesn't seem very connected to the first half; if social media has led to an increase in pet interest which in turn has led to an impact (?) on pets, why cite their growth in the 1960s, before social media?
 * The paragraph about income I think is important and has some key historical background, but again, consider structuring these ideas in a kind of chronology — the last paragraph ends talking about the 1960s and leads to talking about before the 1900s.
 * Also, I think you're taking for granted what might seem obvious about pet culture, especially specific to the United States. The clearest example in the content you have so far is the kinds of pets: you readily talk about cats and dogs, but don't explain why these are relevant to the U.S. context.

Tone and Balance

 * For the most part, you do a good of maintaining a neutral and balanced tone, although there are some claims that could be reexamined, such as the last sentence of the first paragraph, where "an impeccable amount" could use elaboration, or the sentence before, where "impacting" dogs and cats is a very vague and insubstantial claim.
 * As far as neutrality goes, since this article is about pet culture, you should not only speak beyond the U.S. context, but beyond some of the more familiar aspects of pet culture. The focus on dogs and cats is a clear example, but also try to think beyond the kind of middle class family household context. That kind of owner might spend $8,000, but what about, for example, homeless people with pets?

Sources and References

 * The references from the original article are rather strangely selected, and I would suggest looking them over to see if they have content worth keeping them for. Apart from those, I think you've chosen some good sources, including scholarly articles to provide historical and sociological perspective, and sources like Forbes which can speak to more popular understanding of culture. I don't mind some of the health focused sources, but since this is an article about culture, I would advise you to find more sources which are relevant to the topic, and perhaps cover aspects you haven't considered.
 * I think generally each of the claims you make in the article are cited, which is great. The only exceptions I think are these instances where you make a claim in one sentence and then follow it up with evidence in the next sentence, which end up making two separate claims, when really they should be a single thought.

Organization

 * Before you make any further changes, I would definitely take a step back and think about organization. I'm sure you didn't intend for the only section in the article to be "Pet Culture in the United States," but it might be easier to move away from such a specific section altogether and focus on the broader subtopics of pet culture: things like history, types of pets, maybe even media. Try to draw on the research you've already done and identify larger trends.
 * Within just the section you've written, the organization is, as I've indicated, quite messy. Try not to just jump sporadically between ideas, but think about the knowledge you've gained about the topic, and decide what ideas are most important or most preliminary, then move to the specifics. Also, be sure you're focusing on the culture part of pet culture; it might be interesting to know about how income, class, and pet ownership intersect, but you shouldn't be writing about the specific numbers, but rather the culture that has risen around them.

Images and Media

 * There are not any images in the article. I think you could definitely peruse Wikimedia and find images involving people and pets, such as someone walking their dog, or maybe even an example of social media posts about pets.

Overall Impressions

 * To be certain, you don't have much right now, but to me that means you have a lot of potential for your article. There are some good ideas in the work you've already done, even if it's muddied by organization and of confused specificity. My advice is to give your ideas some clear structure by deciding on two or three broader sections you would divide the topic into and which are relevant to pet culture, and staying focused on those subtopics in those sections. You can look at the article on pets or some of its related articles for ideas. Don't worry about being comprehensive in your topics or reaching considerable depth, just focus on staying focused and organized within each section.