User:Sadie.Eggleston/Architectural lighting design/YawnChick Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sadie.Eggleston


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Sadie.Eggleston/Architectural lighting design


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Architectural lighting design

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Sadie, your article and edits are great! Adding your own citation to the overview/lead of your article was a great idea. It supports your facts and readers will pick up on more citations, which proves the article to be a credible source. Your use of Wikilinks is very effective, and gives more value to your article. I agree with your side note, I do not think the original sentences are pertaining to the topic, so I would get rid of it. I really liked that you added new sections as well, it gives more value and content for readers to pull from. In your section Electric Lighting, I personally would take out "This" as the start of the paragraph, and say "Electric Lighting is a type of...". I would also take out the use of "can" and rather make it more of a statement. So instead of saying "Artificial lighting can help to create or enhance the aesthetic of a space" I would say, "Artificial lighting helps to create or..." just so there is less subjectivity to the "can" statements. In your section of Lighting Design Layers, I would take out "For example, they use lights to illuminate an architectural feature," and just leave "such as a fireplace." I would also avoid using "Lastly" as it sounds like you are writing a personal essay, and you might get pinged. I enjoy the use of your list, having key terms is very helpful for a reader to access. I would personally add one or two more references if possible, so you can have more information you are pulling from. Overall, great work!