User:Sahrishmasood/sandbox

 Thesis Proposal to edit article selected: 

Wikipedia article: “Cardiovascular disease (CVD) in women.

Recommended changes are as follows:

Introduction:

- Lead provides sufficient information on CVD and its history

- Fails to provide brief overview of sections present in article

- Edit out story regarding CVD and its rise in concern since the mid 1980s

Signs and symptoms:

- Add more details regarding the symptoms listed

History:

- Well written

- Only provides information till 1990, needs updated data

Shifts and trends:

- Information only limited to the USA (clear US slant)

- Change to epidemiology?

Mechanisms and causes:

- Need to add a section referring to various mechanisms that may cause CVD in women (may be difficult to encompass all of them as it can happen in numerous ways)

Treatment:

- Need to add a section regarding treatments available for those seeking information for next steps if they feel their symptoms match

General:

- Not enough references to address the expansive amount of information present in the medicine regarding this topic.

- Need to include more graphics and images to visually summarize the presented information for viewers

- General grammatical edits and restructuring to maintain consistency in tone

- Change to layman terms to prevent confusion