User:Salam211/Evaluate an Article

Which article are you evaluating?
Mobile technology in Africa

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
I selected this article because of my interests in technology and information accessibly on an international level. The African continent is one that most do not stereotypically associate with mobile market growth, so I figured this article would be important to evaluate. Upon first glance, the article had several red flags, primarily the blatant absence of citations following supposed facts.

This article matters considering how expansive the telecommunications are in today's world. The internet helps bridge gaps between even the most remote regions of the world, and this is something that must be studied to ensure the accuracy of how technology is employed by various kinds of people.

Evaluate the article
Lead Section

Immediate problems can be identified in the lead of section of this article. While the first and second sentences do technically provide the topic of the article, it implicitly suggests an opinion held by the editors. Firstly, the reader is informed that mobile technology is the fastest growing market in Africa. Subsequently, the reader is told that, "nowhere is the effect more dramatic than in Africa." While this may be accurate, the wording of it insinuates an opinion, which is something we want to avoid in our Wikipedia contributions. Additionally, there assertion is supported by a citation from businessweek.com, which is not an academic or peer-reviewed sources.

The lead section also fails to include a brief description of the article's major sections. Although it does not introduce ideas that are not later talked about in the article, it similarly does not include ideas that are talked about. For example, the article details several public health implications of the increasingly accessible mobile market, yet it does not once mention any of these in the lead. Perhaps what this lead sections needs is more detail such that the reader has a better understanding of what the article entails.

Content

At large, the article's content is relevant to the topic. However, it is difficult to ascertain whether or not the information is up-to-date given the low quality and inconsistent citations. More will be elaborated about the citations later in this review.

The topics relate to historically underrepresented populations, particularly about mobile accessibility for African peoples. It evaluates the monopolization of the mobile market, namely by the state. Recall that this article refers to substandard resources, so this is one aspect to consider even when assessing how it addresses underrepresented groups.

Tone and Balance

As mentioned in "Lead Section" part of this evaluation, the article does appear to stray away from neutrality at certain points. One reason for this might be rooted in how it was and is being written since it frames potential facts as if they are opinions. Below is one instance of this:"'Another key success factor in the providers' strategy in Africa has been the cutting down of roaming costs. This is especially relevant in Africa since strong relationships often hold between neighbouring communities that happen to be separated by national borders. [citation]'"The problem with above quote from the article is that the first sentence posits a reason for provider success that does not include citation. It simply states something without any support. The sentence that follows it on the cusp of neutrality as it asserts the preceding "fact" is important, but the citation it uses refers to no actual source.

The article does not include overrepresented or underrepresented viewpoints, in fact it divvies up the information for each section nearly uniformly. It also does not try to persuade the reader. The article would be much stronger if it incorporated citations known to be reliable and peer-reviewed, let alone if it cited all of the facts it provides.

Sources and Resources

As can be interpreted throughout this evaluation, the article majorly falls shorts in regards to sources and resources. The first citation attempts to support the claim that, "Mobile technology in Africa is a fast growing market." The link for it directs to https://gsl.mit.edu/, in other words, it provides literally no relevant information to the claim. Instead, this claim can be supported by an internationally reputable organization, such as the United Nations The UN article linked in the preceding sentence states that in 2014, about 81 percent of Africans own a mobile phone, or a 10 percent uptick compared to 2014.

Adjustments like this would be beneficial throughout the article. Nevertheless, some of what is stated in the article is not supported at all, and researching to find sources is not an easy task. For instance, under the "Limitations for African PSTNs" section, it states that, "In 2000, Sub-Saharan Africa as a whole had fewer telephone lines than Manhattan alone." This line does not have a citation, and searching for a resource proved incredibly difficult. Instead, this line could be replaced with, "In 2000, the African continent at large had less bandwidth compared to Luxembourg ". Something to this effect would allow for a credible source in which the data can be directly accessed.

Unquestionably, there are sources that would lend credence to this article. Rather than pull from miscellaneous sources and dead links, the article needs to be reassessed such that up-to-date and pertinent sources are utilized. Organization and writing quality

Altogether, the article is not very well-written. Even though it is concise and delivers several interesting points, the writing style is somewhat... turbulent. Consider the following line from the lead section:"'As a consequence of the wider availability of mobile telephony with respect to fixed telephony, in many African countries most Internet traffic goes through the mobile network.'"The sentence is not constructed well, and it is exemplary of a rough pattern seen in several components throughout the article. Lastly, the central theme of this article is mobile technology in Africa. This article has much potential, especially when discerning the various subtopics it extracts that are relevant to the theme.

Images and Media

As for the visual representations, the article is not necessarily lacking, but it could benefit from an image that better depicts the evolving prevalence of mobile phones in Africa. This would allow the reader to attain a grasp of the significance of the mobile market. Moreover, the section about using mobile campaigns to fight against HIV/Aids should include an image of what was being disseminated.

Talk page discussion

There is only one comment in the talk page which says that the article does not provide any valuable information, and therefore should be merged with another article. The talk page also mentions that the article is within scope of WikiProject Africa and WikiProject Telecommunications.

Overall Impressions

This is article is in the start phase. It is in dire need of citations and a review of the writing style. It has potential, but it the topics should be cohesively strung together. Overall, the article could be improved with the removal of outdated and null sources, a concise briefing of the subsections in the lead section, and credible sources.