User:Salamibears58

User:Salamibears58 is the greatest anonymous Wikipedia user in the history of the earth. For proof, go to this link.

Biography
Salamibears58 was born in early 2000 when a black bear found someone at a picnic eating salami and tried to take the salami from him and succeeded. The black bear tried to eat the salami but hated it, so he threw it down under a bridge. The salami landed at the bottom of a sign that read "Campground -- 58 feet up ahead."

The salami somehow started biodegrading (can salami biodegrade??) and magically transformed into a big black persian cat that happened to be the future Salamibears58. The cat then walked into a CompUSA outlet, stole a laptop, then went to an airport with it. Then, Salamibears58 snuck into an empty pet carrier that wasn't in use, and got on a flight to Anchorage, Alaska. However, these were the days before cockpits were closed to potential hijackers, so when all the passengers were asleep, Salamibears58 crept into the cockpit, blindfolded both the pilot and the copilot, activated autopilot, then stuffed the pilots in both lavatories. Then he turned off autopilot and veered the plane the other way. Then he played a non-stop mix of extremely distorted Death Metal over the intercom to annoy passengers until he safely crash-landed (oxmorons FTW) the plane in an isolated, uninhabited area of eastern Russia. Then, Salamibears58 snuck off further, taking his stolen computer with him and leaving the passengers in the plane. He has been living there in hiding, using Wikipedia ever since.

BIG Plans!
Articles created by Salamibears58: Raymond, Montana

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Other stuff
Salamibears58's motto

DERP DERP DERP DERP DA DERP DERP DERP DA DERP DERP DERP DERP DA DERP DERP DERP

The Electronic Music ABCs
A is for Ambient, music to dream to.

B is for Breakbeat, which uses sampled drums.

C is for Chiptune, for Hardcore Gamers.

D is for Drum and Bass, the darker side of the Early 90s Rave scene.

E is for Electro, Vocoders and TR-808, not Electronic music as a whole.

F is for Fidget, what you can do with any sort of audio sample or synth (also a genre of House.).

G is for Glitch, do whatever you want with anything.

H is for House, originally the 80's reinvention of Disco, now House has grown into many things. H is also for Hard Dance as well as Hardcore Techno (Hardcore), LET OUT ALL YOUR ANGER HERE AND NOW!!!!!!

I is for Industrial, make NOISE!!! however you want to.

J is for Jazzstep, soulful Drum and Bass.

K is for Kraftwerk, the Godfathers of Electronic Music.

L is for Lowercase, Quiet! Your parents are sleeping.

M is for Minimal, Do as little as you can. An Umbrella for Minimal Techno, Glitch House, Techno House and more.

N is for Nu, as in Nu Skool. Old Skool could be better.

O is for Old School, the original.

P is for Psytrance, Hard and Fast Trance to Dance to. Fusions include Psybreaks (Breakbeat) and Psybient (Ambient).

Q is for Qlimax, where Hard Dance is played.

R is for Rave, the home of live Electronic Dance Music.

S is for Synthesizer, which creates all the sounds.

S is also for Skwee, a new movement which combines Chiptune with Minimalism with Funk and Soul. The idea is to Squeeze (Skweeze) out the most interesting sounds possible.

T is for Trance, a good short sleep after a good long party.

T is also for Transistorized, the first letter in the TB-303, the TR-808 and the TR-909, common tools in the creation of Electronic Music.

U is for UK Garage, 'shuffling' hi-hats and beat-skipping kick drums.

V is for Vocals, not a common feature.

W is for Waveform, sound synthesis begins with the Square, Saw, Sine and Triangle soundwaves.

X is for X-Outing, Hopping back and forth. Do this dance to Drum and Bass.

Y is for Yak, they like Electronic Music too.

Z is for Zzzzzzz, a state induced by Ambient Music. Which brings us back to A.