User:Salliejohnson99/Rural development/Rachelswimmer Peer Review

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 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Salliejohnson99/sandbox

I really like how you are changes the article title "Approaches to development" *remember you don't need to capitalize every word.

The "Rural development" article is pretty bare, so I am impressed by all the work you are putting into it.

Your section "Rural development in Uganda" is rich with detail. You very clearly gave a brief history of difficulties with development initiatives due to certain administrations.

One comment I would make is that if I wasn't in GPP 105, I might be confused by the language you used of "local participatory efforts". I know what you are saying, but perhaps you could rephrase that sentence and say something along the lines of "Because of the several shortcomings of dictatorial administrations on the functioning of local government", or something in that way to simplify.

Under your "Debates" section, I think you could omit "Critiques" and simply leave it at debates. I think critiques might be bordering on the line of bias.

1 point: You begin with the phrase "Many argue", but who argues? Researchers? Scholars? The mass population?

Clarifying question: When you mention taxes, perhaps it is important to mention a lack of taxes to support social development for literary, etc

Also, I agree with your point that you should add more detail about why civil society orgs fail to mobilize community interest.

Under your NGO section:

An idea: When discussing the Kampala International University, I think it would be good to mention the year of the study.

I think this is a really good section. I was just a bit confused about whether or not NGO's taking over traditionally government-oriented responsibilities was a good or bad thing (obviously this is a biased statement). If you could mention why this is a complex issue I think that could be helpful.

Sustainability and Construction Article:

I definitely

think you should either replace/add to the definition of sustainable construction section.

* Tip: just be careful when you say phrases like "many people", and to just be specific about who you are referring to or just cut that phrase all together.

Your bolded "Debates and Critiques of Sustainable Construction", I think instead of having the list of debates, you should briefly mention them in the definition of sustainable construction section.

Your "Sustainable construction in developing countries" section looks great! One question I would pose is the use of the term "Global South"... I think the terminology is a bit dated because there can be developing countries in the "Global North". You might consider changing to "developing country".

Your "Debates surrounding sustainable construction in developing countries" section is thoroughly researched and well-written!

One suggestion: You say... "developed, western countries, leading them to be viewed as elitist and ignorant to the needs of the poor," but the language here (while accurate) seems a bit harsh/biased. You might consider changing the word ignorant to "unaware" or "dismissive"

Your "Stakeholders" section is perfect! I really like it, and think its important to note.

Your NGOS/Nonprofit section:

One suggestion: I might sub the term criticisms for debates around.