User:Sam.Herrera234/Jules Bonnot/Jeorgiaobrien Peer Review

General info
Sam.Herrera234
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Editing User:Sam.Herrera234/Jules Bonnot - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Jules Bonnot - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Bibliography:

It looks like you have several good sources so far. These sources seem like they were produced for educational purposes, and they are reputable. I noticed in your bibliography that you do you have a list of what you are using each source for. This is typically customary in bibliographies. Consider adding a small note on each source about what information the source gave and what it was used for in your article. This can help readers know where to find further information.

Sandbox Draft:

Your lead seems strong and gives a good overview of what the article's focus is. One thing I noticed was that the published wiki page says that he preferred to avoid bloodshed and yours says he was a murderer. This seems to be conflicting. Maybe look into what the best route is for readers to understand his criminal offenses.

The early life section of your text is very comprehensive and informative. I think this is really helpful for understanding the character of Jules. I would go back through and make some edits just to produce more concise language. Perhaps add a few more transitions as well. For examples, the line, "Later in 1903 when Jules' contracted a case of tuberculosis, his wife Sophie left him to live in Dijon, France with a lover." I am not completely sure if Jules had a lover or if Sophie had a lover. Adding more concise language will help these discrepancies.

I think the heading "Adoption of Illegalism" is very creative. I thought this was a very strong section. It is easy to follow and very informative. I think adding the piece at the end about him being wanted for murder is a helpful note to the mention I made about the Wikipedia article being in conflict with the word "murderer".

The Bonnet Gang section was super interesting. It was short but summarized a lot of good information. I thought it was very interesting that he didn't make himself a leader despite his somewhat manipulative personality. I think this adds to how his actions were a result of his frustration against France.

The final section has a good summary of his life. After reading this article I feel that calling him a murderer in the Lead section is appropriate. Perhaps, consider posting a note on the current Wikipedia article that is may be inaccurate to claim he avoided bloodshed. I feel that you could talk about his increasingly violent behavior throughout his life. It is very evident in this article and is an interesting part of his personality.