User:Samanthaklos/Women and the environment/Abratner Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * Samanthaklos
 * Samanthaklos/Women and the environment/Bibliography
 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Samanthaklos/Women and the environment
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Women and the environment

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

In the Asian and Pacific Island regions, 58% of women involved in the economy are found in the agriculture sector. This involves work in own-account farms, labor in small enterprises for processing fruits, vegetables and fish, paid and unpaid work on other peoples land, and collecting forest products. Out of all the women working in this sector, 10–20% have been found to have tenure to the land they work on. Reasons for this number include economic and legal barriers. For example, in terms of loans women are found to get fewer and less loans to acquire land then men.

One other factor that plays into women's land rights for agriculture is the cultural norms of the area. In the Asian and the Pacific women's societal rolls have been defined by patriarchal norms of the larger global society, where men are viewed as breadwinners and women are viewed as caretakers. This can be expressed through the number of hours women spend doing unpaid care work per day. In developing countries in total, women spend 4 hours and 30 minutes of care work a day versus the 1 hour and 2 minutes that men spend. edits:

In Southeast Asia, climate change is expected to have significant impacts on agriculture, the main economic sector, and members of the Association of Southeast Asian States (ASEAN) have cited increasing frequency of natural disasters due to climate change with significant gendered impacts. These events have different effects for each country and each region of Southeast Asia, but harms upon both gender equality and economic production through agriculture are common across the region. The Dawei Special Economic Zone (SEZ) and deep seaport, located in a border region of Myanmar and Thailand, is an industrial development project with alleviated environmental regulations, among other relaxed rules, marketed for business investment. Out of Myanmar residents who are displaced from homes and their agriculture work due to the Dawei Zone's development, new higher paying jobs, and usually land rights, are granted to men. Women, whose prior experiences have been agricultural, resort to informal, insecure, and smaller-scale farm labor. In the Mekong River Delta Region of Vietnam, although women comprise about half of the labor involved in intensive rice production systems, they have the added responsibility of being the primary caretaker and securing food for their families. As climate change increasingly threatens agricultural systems, women in the Mekong Delta region face disproportionate risk to their livelihoods relative to men because of their dependency on the land for rice production combined with their role as domestic provider.

Revisions:


 * Not in your writing, but there are types above your edits you might want to fix (I underlined them)
 * Footnote 16: It might be better to use a source that cites the UN Women Data Hub instead of the data hub itself, also I would rather immediately read the examples if possible instead of having to find them throughout the paragraph
 * Continuing on this ^ it might be useful to give tangible examples of how climate change has harmed women in agriculture (ex. access to water? pollution/climate change has harmed the water of the Mekong) They can't tend the land if they are preoccupied with finding clean water for their families.
 * Last two citations are from the same source -- either combine the sentences or find another source to use/replace one?