User:Samaraghali/Darmiya language/Ijcima Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Samaraghali (provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Darmiya language


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Darmiya language

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead: I thought that your lead paragraph introduced the topic of your article. By looking at your lead paragraph, it was easy to determine the importance of your topic and what you intended to talk about. I thought that you could have elaborated more on some information you wrote in the lead paragraph. For instance, you could have elaborated when you wrote about what other languages the Darmiya language was related to. Instead of elaborating, you immediately wrote language names and that was it. Or instead of elaborating on these points, you could have just not wrote them down. I think that you set the following sections up well with what you wrote in your lead paragraph. The content you added was fairly up to date. Overall, the lead paragraph was concise. However, there were some sentences that did not sound "encyclopedic". Also, there were punctuation errors that were present.

Content: The content that you added to your article was relevant to the topic. It was also up to date for the most part. I thought that the content you put all belonged in the topic that you were talking about. The content that you wrote all related back to your topic which was the Darmiya language.

Sources and References: I thought that the sources you used were reliable secondary sources of information. Looking into the sources you cited, they did correlate to what you wrote in the article. You could have a bit more variety. in the sources that you use. For the most part, they were from the same source which is not too bad, but you want to have information taken from different sources to increase the strength of your article. I think that with more through research, you will be able to find information that can help with your article.

Organization: The article was very easy to read. There were a bit of grammatical and punctuation errors. You also could have wrote some sentences in your lead paragraph a bit better, in order for the sentences to sound "encyclopedic". The article was also broken down into sections which was great because it was easy to read how you subdivided the research that you did. for the Darmiya language.

Images & Media: You could have used a bit more images, to help make your article look aesthetically pleasing.

Overall: I think that the content added helped the article overall. There could some changes made with how the information is put together in order to make the article sound and look more "encyclopedic". The information that was added helped in providing important information to the article. There could be more sources used, better sentence structures and fixing punctuation and grammatical errors.