User:SammiMaloney/Energy bar/Isobelpowell Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SammiMaloney


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:SammiMaloney/Energy_bar?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Energy bar

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think you did a really nice job at expanding the lead more. I noticed that the original is only one short sentence, but you did well at expanding what the main focus of Energy Bars are, and you explained it in simple yet informative terms.

Your content all seems relevant and adds to the overall information of the piece. I might suggest seeing if there is some sort of 'history' element you could find in terms of when Energy Bars first became popular or widely eaten. I see that under the 'Nutrition' section, there is a citation needed for the last two sentences. I didn’t look extensively but I found something like this link - https://www.cnn.com/2017/08/25/health/energy-bars-healthy-food-drayer/index.html - it might be helpful as it talks about cocoa and how that could make energy bars healthy? Just an idea!

Something you might want to consider to lengthen the article and add more information are examples of Energy Bars. What brands make them? What are they called? Which are the most popular in the United States? What are some vegan options, gluten free options, etc.? You could put that under the 'Usage' section, or create a section for 'Examples', perhaps.

Overall, I think you did great at working to expand the article. I would have thought it to be difficult to expand in this piece about energy bars, but you've clearly found some good sources too. Nice job!