User:Samsmith428/Estrous cycle/Lithopslover Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Samsmtih428


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Samsmith428/Estrous cycle


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Estrous cycle

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * I don't know if it was your intent, but I think it would be great if you added a sentence in the lead about the new section you're adding, "Estrous Control and Synchronization"
 * The lead does a good job at briefly describing the topic, however, it could be improved by adding a short paragraph outlining the major sections of the article.

Content


 * Really great content - very relevant to the article and to the agriculture industry!
 * The tone of your content was neutral and purely informative -great job!
 * One sentence in which the tone seemed a bit awkward to me was the last sentence: "Future synchronization programs will need to focus on the impact of heat stress on fertilization and embryonic death rates after artificial insemination." It seems as if this is a conclusion sentence to a scientific research paper and not necessarily a Wikipedia article section. Perhaps consider rewording to, "Future synchronization programs plan/intend to investigate the impact of..." or "The future direction of synchronization programs will likely..." instead?


 * After reading your added content, I am still a little bit fuzzy on what synchronization is. Perhaps adding a little more detail on how exactly the framers tailor breeding practices to large herds of cattle and also how or why this makes it more profitable.
 * The cattle section was great - very informative! I would recommend adding the length of the estrous cycle to the beginning of the section however, to match the other species mentioned in detail in the article. Additionally, if there is more specific information on cattle's estrous cycles, I would not be afraid to add it as the other species mentioned in the article were quite in depth such as bison, rats, and horses.

Sources and References


 * Current, relevant, and reliable sources used - very thorough and recent.
 * Links to the sources worked.
 * In general, I wouldn't be afraid to add more details from your sources to your content.

Organization


 * Your content is very well-written and is easy to understand.
 * I especially liked your use of bullet points - very good strategy!
 * Content is concise but perhaps too concise at times - don't be afraid to add detail, it will not take away from your quality of writing.
 * I don't know what your intention is for the placement of these sections, however I think the "Estrous Control and Synchronization" section would go great after the "Frequency" section and the "Cattle" section would go great under the specific species section of the Estrous cycle article.
 * Some grammatical notes:
 * "Due to the widespread use of bovine animals in agriculture, cattle estrous cycles have been widely studied, and manipulated, in an effort to maximize profitability through reproductive management." - can delete the commas after "studied" and "manipulated"
 * "Prostaglandin: Mimics the prostaglandin F2-alpha hormone released when no pregnancy has occurred and regresses the corpus luteum." - The grammar of this sentence may leave the reader confused as to which hormone you are referring to for the second half of the sentence. Perhaps try placing "released when no pregnancy has occurred" in parentheses to indicate that is about the prostaglandin F2-alpha hormone and that the second part is the use of the drug. Or try dividing the sentence in two to make it more clear like you did in the third bullet on progestin. (Or clarify what is regressing the corpus luteum by another grammatical fix if my interpreted meaning was incorrect).

Overall impressions


 * I think this is a fantastic summary of the topic and would make a great addition to the Estrous Cycle article! The writing style was easy to understand and organizationally, the content was easy to follow. Don't be afraid to add more technical details. Overall, wonderful job Samsmith428!! :)