User:San264/Shadow zone/Thought22Potato Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

San264


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:San264/Shadow_zone?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Shadow zone

Evaluate the drafted changes
The Lead to the article looks fine-- maybe try to include some citations to cite the information being referenced, though. Overall however, gives a good overview of the shadow zone. If article is eventually broken up into various sections, do try to mention those sections here.

The main article body should include the Greek characters for compressibility, density, and rigidity-- I'm not sure of those were initially included and just didn't get copied over, but either way should be included in the final draft. There also appears to be a few sentences that are fragmented-- they either need an ending or a beginning, and as they stand now don't flow too well together. Be sure to proofread and ensure that sentences are complete.

Is there a way to incorporate actual numbers and data into the section on the shadow zone, not just in the lead?

The final sentence about Richard Oldham in 1906 right now seems kind of tacked on to the end of the article. I might suggest either taking that sentence out, or expanding upon it more so as to tie it in more nicely with the rest of the article.

References should be properly cited-- I'd imagine you'll do this in the final version, of course, but just an FYI for now! Also try to include a bit more peer-reviewed literature when possible.

Overall, good start to an article! Keep up the good work!