User:Sandrinelessardaubin/Nancy Vincent McClelland/Muhizi Karema Peer Review

General info
Lea baba UdeM, Emyumontreal, NaomiJ15
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Nancy Vincent McClelland

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article is gorged with relevant information but the lead could have been crafted better. Especially in terms of proportion. It is very dense and takes a lot of space from the overall article. This negatively affects the general outlook of the page and may cause the reader to disconnect. it is long and so betrays the very nature of an overview. I also couldn't fail to notice unnecessary francization although very few. The word "Chateau is one such example in a place where castle would have been clearly understandable to English speakers. I understand however, the temptation of recurring to French words in matters of art as French culture has immensely contributed to the arts mouvements but pushed to an extreme it may backfire in the eye of the reader who might consciously or unconsciously reject a well documented article such as this one under false pretence of pseudo-intellectualism. I am impressed by the richness of sources of the information provided, published books amongst others. The article says Pablo Picasso was french and although he's not the subject of the article so long as he is associated to the subject, and perhaps even elevated her more, I think it's an information worth correcting. Images could have added more flair to the article and could have helped support and reinforce the information provided. I find it unfortunate that there are none at the moment.