User:SarahLiz P3N/Language deprivation in deaf and hard of hearing children/CVHWI Peer Review

General info

 * SarahLiz P3N
 * User:SarahLiz P3N/Language deprivation in deaf and hard of hearing children

Lead evaluation
The new content added may already fit under the sections mentioned in the article; however, it is overly detailed and redundant. This makes it unclear if the new content is truly reflected in the lead.

Content evaluation
The content is relevant and important to the topic. It adds knowledge and further explains how language deprivation is a challenge for deaf and hard of hearing children. All sources were within the last thirty years and therefore, the content should be based on current understanding and theory. Between the original article and added content, it seems that the topic of educational placement is covered. Are there other theoretical perspectives on educational models? The addition of the incidental learning section helps to clarify the connection between access to language and hearing loss.

Tone and balance evaluation
It seems that there needs to be a distinction or explanation of approaches (Deaf versus oral) and the impact on language deprivation (Educational Placements). The draft begins to address this weakness of the original article by adding information about the Deaf viewpoint. The original article seems to group both approaches all together. In order to be balanced, both should be explained clearly and equally.

Sources and references evaluation
The sources are current and the links function as necessary. The following references offer important information; however, from a quick glance, they seem to be primary sources. Are they and if so, is this information available elsewhere in articles that are not first hand research completed by the writers?


 * 1) Hindley, Peter A.; Hill, Peter D.; McGuigan, Sean; Kitson, Nick (1994). "Psychiatric Disorder in Deaf and Hearing Impaired Children and Young People: A Prevalence Study". Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 35 (5): 917–934. doi:10.1111/j.1469-7610.1994.tb02302.x. ISSN 0021-9630
 * 2) Mann, J. R.; Zhou, L.; McKee, M.; McDermott, S. (2007). "Children With Hearing Loss and Increased Risk of Injury". The Annals of Family Medicine. 5 (6): 528–533. doi:10.1370/afm.740. ISSN 1544-1709.
 * 3) Pénicaud, Sidonie; Klein, Denise; Zatorre, Robert J.; Chen, Jen-Kai; Witcher, Pamela; Hyde, Krista; Mayberry, Rachel I. (2013-02). "Structural brain changes linked to delayed first language acquisition in congenitally deaf individuals". NeuroImage. 66: 42–49. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2012.09.076. Check date values in: |date= (help)

Organization evaluation
The Educational Placements draft paragraph is clear and concise. The challenging part will be integrating it into the established paragraph in the article itself as this is a philosophy and the other placements do not mention philosophy. For the Incidental Learning paragraph, it might be useful to mention incidental learning in the first few sentences (along the lines of how it occurs naturally for children who use the same language as their parents) and how that is related to the knowledge to which the child has access.

In general, some sentences seem too long and may need to be reworded for clarity. The article the may be missing for some sentences.

Overall evaluation
The content added is important for the overall development of the topic. It offers new perspectives and highlights overlooked components of language deprivation. It helps to clarify or draw connections between Deafness, language deprivation, and outcomes for deaf and hard of hearing children.