User:Sarahnalbandian/Mursal Nabizada/Hfocc Peer Review

General info
Sarahnalbandian/Mursal Nabizada
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Sarahnalbandian/Mursal Nabizada
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
For a topic that didn't have much, this is a good solid first draft!

Lead

Good lead. I was able to recognize the subject and their role based off the first few sentences.

Content

Overall, there is a lot of good and relevant information added about the feminist subject. I see an entire section her career that didn't exist and expansion on information relating to her death. I suggest adding at least 2-3 sentences about her early life so this section is not too short. I also think it would be beneficial to see more about her family background rather than just where she was born. There is only one mention about her education so given the nature of her role in being an Afghan politician and critic I think it would helpful to know more about her education background as well.

Tone and Balance

Tone is neutral and steady throughout the article.

Sources and References

I would suggest shortening where you hyperlink. For example, the hyper link attached to "Taliban issued a statute..." seems a bit long. I would rather just hyperlink the word statute so it looks cleaner. All sources seem reliable but I would try to find some scholarly articles written specific about her rather than just tributes and biopics of her. Something that would really tie in everything together could be a quote about her by a significant political leader or scholar that would signify the importance she played.

Organization

Organization seems well put together. I suggest creating a section about her personal/family life. I think the paragraph starting with "The Canadian government.." seems a bit out of place so perhaps a better transition or location for that one would be better.

Images and Media

No images or media.