User:Sarai1021/Carlos Obregón Santacilia/MayoGold Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sarai1021


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Sarai1021/Carlos Obregón Santacilia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * The article does not have the content to lead the introducing to the artists for there is only description of his career.
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
 * Somewhat. There is an indication about the contents to the main body, but it is not enough nor have indication for the introducing to the article and the artists.

Content

 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
 * Other than the introduction, the other areas that is missing is the description about artist's life before his career and the lead up of collaborate with other artists like Diego Rivera.

Tone and Balance

 * Is the content added neutral?
 * The content appears to be neutral for it can be sway the describe the artist's career and involved with the movement.

Sources and References

 * Check a few links. Do they work?
 * Some of the links does work for they sent me to other websites and Wikis about the artists.

Organization

 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?
 * There are grammars and word choice errors that makes it hard to understand. The use of the past tense are use correctly in the article yet there are few areas that needs to be changing like the last sentences, careful of using "Being known" and "more than" for there are other artists shared the similar accomplished as the artist.
 * The sentences are narrowed that it reads like it jumps around. Having separated to their own paragraph would help to describe the artist's career and biography better.

Overall:


 * The article is good start to discussed about the artist, Carlos Obregon Santacilia and brief description of his career. Yet, I would like to see more about his earlier life from childhood to his accomplishments, and add more details about the artist, Carlos, collaborate with Garcia and other artists that it can make into separate paragraphs. Also, add more contents about his accomplishments, descriptions of his painting/works, and more of his career like dealing with issues, barriers, etc. While I understand looking more sources are hard to find, try to provide other sources that relates to the artists and his works like how the article briefly describes the UNAM is where the students go to study art and introduce the Mexican Revolution.