User:Sarangayan/sandbox

/test Edit Choudary

General
CAVEAT!

I have verified only those sources immediately available to me (no books, only newspaper sources without subscription) --> checked approx. about 2/5 of all given references. Keep in mind with content correction; some information challenged here might be included in references not available to me.

Urdu script of name - transcription correct?
seems dubious from Arabic script perspective. How to find Urdu-knowledgeable folks on Wikipedia?

Alternate name "Abu Luqman" vs "Abou Luqman"
discrepancy in spelling; the latter seems to be a French variant. Unify to the same version throughout.

Madrasa/Madrasah
is this the correct transcript into English? The Arabic pronounciation(s) do not suggest a "h" at the end of the word, and in other European languages/Latin scripts, the word is typically reflected as "madrasa". Historical misinterpretation of taa marbuta with haa?

Sharia/Shariah/sharia
one spelling should be used throughout the article; currently there are all three of the above

Language Issues
The whole article would benefit significantly from an overhaul by a native speaker (many parts of the article suggest that the author(s) are either not native speakers or not too skilled writers)

Lead

 * 1) Members of his group has been accused --> have been accused
 * 2) (according to various researchers, journalists and others) --> skip; references already given, this parenthesis is wobbly and adds no credibility
 * 3) and of inspiring more than 100 foreign fighters to fight in jihad (according to the government of the U.K.).[13][5] --> see above; references should suffice
 * 4) After staying "just within the law" for many years (according to police),[nb 3] --> either remove direct quote or skip parenthesis and let reference speak for itself
 * 5) and its "caliph" (Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi) --> and its "caliph" Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
 * 6) i.e. for the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant. -->  introduce once in long form, followed by abbreviation (ISIS/Isis) and use the latter afterwards
 * 7) and Choudary subsequently founded or help found a series of organizations considered by many to be Al-Muhajiroun under new names[15][11] --> or helped to found a series...
 * 8) Among the controversial causes espoused and statements made by Choudary and the group include implementation of Sharia throughout the UK, "Europe, and the wider world" --> Clumsy sentence, difficult to read. Rephrase. "The controversial causes espoused by Choudary and the group included the implementation..."  or change sentence completely.

Early Life

 * 1) In 1996, Choudary married Rubana Akhtar, or Akhgar, who had recently joined al-Muhajiroun, which he led at the time. She later became the group's head of women.[34] The couple have four children.[30] --> Suggest to keep this in chronological order and place marriage & children after education.

Organisations

 * 1) (While some sources refer to the Al Guraba', Islam4UK, etc., as successors of Al-Muhajiroun, others describe them as "other names the organisation [Al-Muhajiroun] goes by" to circumvent the ban on the original group.) --> No need for the round brackets, can be removed. May help with reading, as there are already quotation marks and square brackets.

Al-Muhajiroun

 * 1) Choudary embraced Islamism and, with the Islamist militant leader Omar Bakri Muhammed, co-founded al-Muhajiroun,[30] a Salafi organisation.[44] --> Cannot access ref. 30; ref. 31 states "Bakri launched AM with the help of Anjem Choudary, who is a British national of Pakistani descent.", while other sources do NOT support the idea of shared founding. Also: ref 31 and 35 strongly suggests that Bakri Muhammad was Ch.'s mentor and major influence. ref 31: "He [Choudary] became Bakri’s student and began to spend considerable amounts of time with his teacher."

Activism

 * 1) However, there are claims that Choudary UK law enforcement had, on multiple occasions, sufficient evidence to make an arrest. --> This sentence does not make any sense. Intended to mean something like "However, there are claims that UK law inforcement had, on multiple occasions, sufficient evidence against Choudary to make an arrest"?
 * 2) Choudary has regularly attended public marches and, following a protest march outside the Danish Embassy in London on 3 February 2006, held in response to the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy. --> part of sentence missing. Not sure what the original intention was (check version history)
 * 3) For decades, Choudary had "stayed the right side of the law" --> "on the right side of the law"?
 * 4) Shortly after, Choudary pledged allegiance to the Islamic State's “caliphate,” and its "caliph" (Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi) "'via Skype, text and phone' during dinner at a restaurant in London."[6] --> Interpunction issues. The series of double and single quotes are ugly and make reading/understanding difficult. Suggest rephrasing. (And I doubt the encyclopaedic relevance of the question if they pledged alliance over dinner, lunch, or while standing on their heads.)

Release

 * 1) Other members of his organization. were also released around that time, and began to "remobilize" their campaign to replace democracy in the U.K. with a caliphate ruled by Shariah law. --> Other members of his organization were also released ... in the UK...
 * 2) These meeting are legal if the group holding the meeting uses a name that has not been "identified as that of a terrorist outfit" or otherwise banned.[11] --> meetings. Too many direct quotes interrupted by own text; either quote one longer section or use own wording. (Once more, I don't have access to the quoted source, so cannot modify the text accordingly.)
 * 3) On 18 July 2021, Choudary's ban on speaking in public was lifted[27]—though he was banned from twitter almost immediately.[10] --> Twitter

Views

 * 1) He refused to condemn the 7 July 2005 London bombings,[97] but accused the Muslim Council of Britain (who had) of "selling their souls to the devil".[98] --> part of sentence seems to be missing; check with version history
 * 2) In October 2006, he addressed an audience at Trinity College, Dublin to oppose the motion that "This house believes that Islamist violence can never be justified".[103] --> suggest to turn the double-negative of "to oppose a motion" (not specified) "that Islamist violence can never be justified" into a direct, positive statement: In October 2006, addressing an audience at Trinity College, Dublin, "Choudary also reiterated controversial views that Muslim violence is justified in certain circumstances" [103]
 * 3) In February 2008 the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, commented that "as a matter of fact certain provisions of sharia are already recognised in our society and under our law".[104] Choudary responded by saying that Sharia "has to be adopted wholesale", --> capitalisation should be consistent throughout the article

Rationale for doctrine

 * 1) In this whole section, the name Choudary needs to be corrected due to a repeated typo (Choduary)
 * 2) Also in this whole section, the statements outside of quotes are given as direct (instead of indirect) speech. Ch.'s views are currently presented as facts, not as his personal views. This subjective bias should be presented more clearly and reflected in the language used.
 * 3) However, "maybe 85% of the Shariah" is "in abeyance until we have khilafah" (caliphate). Sharia punishments, for example, can not be done by vigilantes but require legal system, "with courts and an executive",[nb 6] which a caliphates provides.[108] --> require a legal system; which a caliphate provides
 * 4) this is to be expected because "the Islamic State is new and the people living under it have spent many years under kafir governments",[nb 7] --> Aren't they kuffar governments?

Designation

 * 1) On 15 October 2018, Choduary was added into the Al-Qaida Sanctions Committee list of the United Nations Security Council.[113] The designation means that each UN member state is legally obliged to freeze financial assets belonging to Choudary, prevent him from entering or transiting their countries and stop any weapons reaching him.[114]
 * 2) The New York Times, estimates Choudary's group, was linked to "25% of all Islamist terrorism-related convictions in Britain between 1998 and 2015".[11] --> The New York Times estimates Choudary's group was linked... (no commas)

Influence

 * 1) ... Abdul Lathief Jameel Mohamed, one of the attackers in the 2019 Sri Lanka Easter bombings, that killed more than 250 people, was radicalized by Choudary after attending his sermons in the U.K. in 2006.[117] --> the UK

Public reception and criticism

 * 1)  and failure to emigrate to the Islamic State ("we say,'Some of you have got passports! Why are you still there?'").[13] --> Brackets, single and double quotation marks: poorly legible. Maybe: and failure to emigrate to the Islamic State: "We say, 'Some of you have got passports! Why are you still there?'" [13]

Content
overall: the strong influence by Omar Bakri Muhammad is not clear enough - or less explicit than suggested by sources (e.g. ref 31, 35)

Lead

 * 1) Could be shortened; contains some very detailed information, which is not needed in a summary and mentioned again later in respective sections.
 * 2) Order of events: review; currently somewhat erratic and confusing to read.

Image (text below)
Alma mater
 * 1) QUML, UoL not confirmed by sources
 * 2) please write long name of institution (Soton) - not every Wikipedia reader on this planet will know UK higher education institutions by their abbreviation. For comparison: article on Thomas Piketty [|Thomas_Piketty]
 * 3) Guildford college of Law is missing (where Ch. seems to have graduated)

Early Life

 * 1) Choudary became the chairman of the Society of Muslim Lawyers, but was removed from the roll of solicitors (the official register of legal practitioners) in 2002.[why?][30] --> Important question. (Unfortunately, I cannot access the article.) In its current phrasing, this paragraph suggests ideological differences between the Society of Muslim Lawyers and Choudary, while the reasons could be a formality (e.g., he did not apply for extension of his membership, is out of legal practice for too long etc.). Yet, ref 31 quotes Ch.: "During an interview Choudary listed some examples of names that the group uses: The Society of Muslim Lawyers, Shari’ah Court UK, Al Muhajiroun and Al Ghuraba “is all us” he said." This point needs clarification.

Al-Muhajiroun

 * 1) Choudary's first organization, Al-Muhajiroun, was established in Britain in 1996 and banned in 2010. --> Again, from my understanding of the sources, he helped establish Al-Muhajiroun, which had been founded by Bakri Muhammad
 * 2) In November, Choudary and three other followers of Bakri were deported from Lebanon and returned to the UK. --> Missing info they had gone to Lebanon in the first place. Add missing info (e.g., ref 35: "Bakri Muhammad fled to Lebanon in 2005, where he was joined by Choudary for about 10 weeks. Bakri Muhammad was ultimately jailed in Lebanon for terror offences.")

Islam4UK

 * 1) With the announcement by Islam4UK that it planned to hold a protest march through Wootton Bassett --> when? Timeline missing.

Activism
The whole section is a bit lengthy and not well structured.
 * 1) Abu Rumaysah of The Shariah Project had predicted "hundreds" would join the demonstration, claiming that groups of Muslims would come from as far away as the Midlands to take part.[88] In the event, only a few dozen protesters took part in the march.[83][84] --> This part does not appear to be neutral, the tone is judgmental, IMO.

Release

 * 1) Their methods included "lower-profile tactics, ... encrypted apps"; --> an encrypted app is not a method.

Rationale for doctrine

 * 1) Shirk -- polytheism—the worst sin in Islam,[nb 10] is found in a great many things that others might find innocent of that vice, (according to Choduary) — diplomacy, sending an ambassador to the United Nations, voting in UK elections. This is because these things "recognize an authority other than God's".[nb 11][109] --> Deeply unhappy with this paragraph! 1. "Shirk" is not equal to polytheism, but one possible manifestation of it, the other being 2. idolatry (devotion to images, idols; dedicating one's life to the accumulation of wealth, pursuit of pleasure, etc. instead of devotion to God. Also a warning against undue devotion to people, including saints, martyrs, leaders, teachers). Further, I disagree on the notion that shirk is regarded as the worst sin in Islam, as apostasy has good chances to compete with shirk here. Since I do not have the book at hand from which these quotes are taken, I cannot say if these are truly Ch.'s words, or a rough and sketchy summary. But leaving it the way it is might suggest to readers unfamiliar with Islam that both ideas (shirk = polytheism and nothing else; shirk = single worst sin) were unchallenged and widely shared notions, which is not the case.

Formatting

 * 1) quotation style "nb x" --> okay according to Style Guide? Necessary? Why not use standard references (as in most of the remainder of the article)?

Lead

 * 1) and heavily criticised in the UK media.
 * 2) praise for those responsible for the 11 September 2001 and 7 July 2005 attacks;

Islam4UK

 * 1) According to Ed Husain, co-founder of the counter-terrorism think-tank the Quilliam Foundation, Islam4UK was a "splinter group of al-Muhajiroun and Hizb ut-Tahrir, the originators of extremism in Britain."

Activism

 * 1) Choudary has regularly attended public marches and, following a protest march outside the Danish Embassy in London on 3 February 2006, held in response to the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy.
 * 2) As a member of a panel of interviewees on the BBC news programme Newsnight he claimed that the police had inspected and allowed the controversial placards used in the demonstration.
 * 3) The following day, at an Al Ghurabaa press conference at the Al Badr centre in Leyton, Choudary claimed that the blame for the London bombings lay with the British government, and said that the then Prime Minister, Tony Blair, had "blood on his hands".
 * 4) He also urged Muslims to defend themselves against perceived attacks by "whatever means they have at their disposal", and referred to the 2 June 2006 Forest Gate raid in which Mohammed Abdul Kahar was shot in the shoulder. He encouraged Muslims not to cooperate with the police under any circumstances.
 * 5) In September 2006, Pope Benedict XVI gave a speech on the question of the "reasonableness" of the Christian faith, to the University of Regensburg in Germany. In the Regensburg lecture he spoke about rationality in faith, and cited comments by the fourteenth-century Byzantine emperor Manuel II Palaiologos, who, as the Pope put it, said "show me just what Mohamed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."
 * 6) Following the speech, on 17 September Choudary led a protest outside Westminster Cathedral, where he told reporters "Whoever insults the message of Mohammed is going to be subject to capital punishment."
 * 7) The Metropolitan Police investigated his comments, but concluded that "no substantive offences" were committed during the demonstration.

Charge, conviction and imprisonment

 * 1) But there were legal implications to swearing allegiance. Journalist Dominic Casciani pointed out that Choudary might circumvent laws on terrorism if "he was supporting a political concept" (an Islamic state) - "not the proscribed terrorist group behind it" (the Islamic State).

Release

 * 1) In mid-May 2019, Choudary was released from a probation hotel and began "the gradual process of becoming a free man".
 * 2) Other members of his organization. were also released around that time, and began to "remobilize" their campaign to replace democracy in the U.K. with a caliphate ruled by Shariah law.
 * 3) Their area of focus (according to The New York Times), included East London and Bedfordshire (including the town of Luton). Their methods included "lower-profile tactics, ... encrypted apps"; instead of recruiting with "provocative public preaching and demonstrations", they now employ "secret internet forums and smaller group meetings in inconspicuous locations". --> delete parenthesis, add reference instead

Views

 * 1) In 2004, he said that a terror attack on British soil was "a matter of time".
 * 2) He believes in the primacy of Islam over all other faiths, and the implementation of Sharia Law, in its entirety, in the UK.

Rationale for doctrine

 * 1) In interviews with Graeme Wood, Choduary gave explanations for some of his beliefs on the necessity of Sharia, terror and caliphate government.

Public reception and criticism

 * 1) According to journalist Graeme Wood, despite his "genius for publicity" Choudary has "considerable ignorance" of Islam and the language of its scriptures -- Arabic. When "confronted on fine details of Islamic law, his main tactic is to change the subject".