User:Sardonicusmaxim/sandbox


 * For the heraldic device, see Cramp (heraldry). For the band, see The Cramps

Ranch Cramps (also known as "Ranchies" or "A Case of the Dressings") (binomial name: Ranchum crampitassimum) is a term referring to an affliction generally resulting from an overdose of ranch dressing.

Etymology
The term "Ranch Cramps" was originated by one "K. M. MERRILL ESQ." There is some debate as to whether he or Alex Mahan originally coined the phrase. Due to pending legal action, further research is required to definitively source its origin.

Regionality
Ranch Cramps are more common in Western cultures, however it has recently become prevalent in regions extending from the Eastern Europe to Asia. The first known case of Ranch Cramps, however, was probably first observed in the upper Midwestern region of the United States, due to its proximity to large quantities of buttermilk and obesity.

Symptoms
Symptoms can include sweating, fever, nausea, vomiting, and chills. Additional symptoms may include "Mud Butt", and "The Itis", depending on one's cultural affinity and whether or not Hidden Valley was consumed, as opposed to the more innocuous (though often more dangerous) store brand varieties of Ranch Dressing.

Treatment
Stretching may be helpful in treating simple Ranch Cramps, however this is often insufficient to completely remedy all symptoms. With Exertional Ranch Cramps (ERC) due to electrolyte abnormalities and ingestion of Ranch Dressing in excessive temperatures (see: Summer Weather), (primarily due to attendance of picnics and/or company office outings or Buffalo Wild Wings), appropriate fluids and a long nap have been shown to improve symptoms.