User:SashiRolls/Guide to the wikiplex

Leda
Are you perplexed or plussed by Wikipedia? Have no fear, this guide&mdash;started by an important admin bird and re-arranged and repackaged by a fair to middlin wikizen&mdash;has the answers to at least one of your wixi-stench- ugh! questions. Though originally written as an antidote to MastCell's Cynic's Guide to Wikipedia, this new and imPOVed version of Bishonen's Optimist's Guide to utopia makes no claim to being an -ism style guide. Any hidden references to retired players have been removed for added perplexiture and non-plussitude.

'plexities 'splained

 * 1) Workerpedians judiciously paying forward discussions with their WP:AGF or WP:NPA cards pile the riprap on to keep their banks from collapsing.
 * 2) People who have learned to spell WP:TENDENTIOUS are rarely argumentative.
 * 3) Those who promote the thorns of an issue are likely to have spent years of their life studying and so will help churn the mission forward. This is so, because anything written here is instantly the !property of the WMF or of anyoneTM chancing by with a fork or a scoop. Just imagine a world in which the letterbox gets scooped every day .
 * 4) Wikipatriotism is insooth and verily virtù. An encyclopedia needs to encourage manly men to editTM as much as possible about their own patri dishes.
 * 5) The best way to make The Established EditorsTM more civil is to block them periodically. (Ask an admin to do it if you're not one yourself.) In the rare cases where that doesn't help, you can try discreetly placing a WP:CIV card on their talk page. Memos do, occasionally, get missed.
 * 6) It is well that the shunned, prefatory to their unshunning ceremonies, will have divined the errors in their ways and apologized. For the divination, it has always been especially helpful to listen to the Greek sock-chorus, who sing so sweetly of the potholes to pave over on the path to redemption, the music to face, the volume of tears to shed, and the sheer quantity of shared gnarledge produced on a daily basis at en.wp.
 * 7) Show trials and pillory are not punitive. Rather, they are preventive. Psychiatry has shown the importance of groveling in finding  TM reconciliation whilst expiating the delinquency of the noosed-body.
 * 8) The use of WP:ROPE in a discussion means the editorTM wants to give somebody a second chance, not that they enjoy invoking violent metaphors or are out to ambush anyoneTM.
 * 9) The use of !WP:SOCKS in a discussion means the contributor wants to give themselves a second voice, less constrained by inconveniences of prurience or propriety, topic bans or site bans. Operators know that such cats can be of significant succor in convincing other players that they spend too much time being in the minority in the projects.
 * 10) The use of WP:STICK in a discussion is almost always a sign the writer likes playing with dogs.
 * 11) Howling about WP:HOUNDs is sometimes most strident when those howling realize that it is really storming and their cloak of invisibility has a big hole in it. but, Cf. 4.
 * 12) Leaving WP:BAIT in discussions permits the accumulation of WP:NLT trump diffsTM that can be played at noticeboards to great effect.
 * 13) The use of WP:OWN in a discussion obliquely refers to the speaker's status as a potential squatter. WP:ONUS cards, which reverse the order, slow those who wish to leave inconveniences in the infobox.
 * 14) It's good to add a touch of wit to discussions that have started getting wet. For instance, references to WP:TROUT will make anybody hungry, which is best for everbody's sake, as a bite of fish always dries out over-spirited banter.
 * 15) It is well that a letterbox like en.wiki.P should have several well-tended gardens of fake news and factoid entries, because facts are, dry and absorbent. > ^ᵕ^ <